Spiritual Forums - View Single Post - Should I ask him why he was holding back on his answers, on our first date?

#27 25-02-2018, 09:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by olhosdeamendoa

Yes absolutely! There were a couple of other things yesterday as well at that pub:

At the counter when we arrived, he wanted to see the food menu and then I noticed that he looked at the prices and he immediately stopped reading the menu and stopped talking about food. Didn't even ask me if I am hungry or want anything to eat, because it was dinner time already. Only asked me what I want to drink.

Then when we sat down with our drinks, we even commented that the restaurant part was full but that there were people also eating food at the drinking part of the pub. And he said that we could even eat at the table we were sitting on. But again, no question if I am hungry or want any food. And yes, I was hungry!

I didn't like that at all. I mean, we were together all afternoon and if he suggested still going to that place at dinner time, he should be prepared to have some food in there. Or otherwise just go home. But leaving me in an uncomfortable situation is not good.

Also, when we were leaving that pub, there were some people going out the door as well in front of us, and he said "ladies first, I'm a gentleman", and then grabbed my shoulders and pushed me to the door.

I mean, I was already in front of the door, I can walk without needing help and I'm not an idiot, so I just need a man to hold the door for me, not one that is grabbing my shoulders and pushing me in a patronising way...

And then outside in the car park he did something similar, to "redirect" me to the right place where our cars were.

Well, let's just say that in that pub I saw him for what he really is in many different ways, and so to me we're done.

Yes. Incompatibility.

We all have our ways and I suppose as we grow they tend to fix as do our hopes of people. Just natural really. We rest on an increasing backlog of experience that firms up what we hope to get from life. When it comes to partnering we have to be particular if we're looking to the longer term. I've noticed it myself (and it probably shows here) that one tends to the dismissive if someone doesn't seem to fit in the first few dates.

Life is too short to wait around hoping others change to suit you. Best to go for someone who reveals themselves more compatible at the outset.

Even so, when meeting a prospect we have to ask ourselves what we can bring to their lives as well as wondering what they can bring to ours. That's difficult on just a couple of dates.

Have you asked these questions?
.
As for "Well, let's just say that in that pub I saw him for what he really is in many different ways, and so to me we're done",
you had an impression but I don't know if it's productive to measure someone in just one situation. However, it sounds like you've made up your mind, so there it goes!

Good luck!