Kerubiel, that's good! If you want something deep and real in partnership specifically, however, then I hate to break it to you, but you cannot fixate on the physicality, on the beauty, and the romance. That is all fleeting, I hate to say. And you're still trying to take the route of sensuality and sentimentality (the low road) to come to the top of the mountain. It just won't ever take you there.
What will remain after all that superficiality fades, is authentic love for one another as people and as beloved friends. That enduring admiration and respect and love for one another as people and as souls...and from this, desire is sustained and illuminated. Not from the bodies per se. The love illuminates the desire and that is what makes the particular body and soul, heart and mind of this particular person desirable. For a woman, physical desire is very, very specific to the person. And in order to be on the same page, you have to be in a place of authentic love in partnership with that woman.
If you bring authentic love (seeks the highest good of the other and nothing to do with sex or your needs) into partnership, you can exchange real desire long-term. But it doesn't come to the vast majority of men because they go about it the wrong way. They see a pretty face or body and they think their own desire alone will guide them to that place of joy and love, as long as they can freely take from the woman what they need to boost themselves momentarily, or perhaps longer-term.
And yet if the woman is like the vast majority of women, she will not desire you physically long-term -- if ever -- without a mutual authentic love for one another as people. Your [ultimately fleeting] desire or bliss doesn't do it. You can't power or shag your way into authentic love. You have to bring your own authentic love for humanity and then engage and allow time for this particular connection to grow.
Everyone has to bring
their own love and appreciation for themselves and for the other as other -- platonically, as a person. Not desire for them as a sexual object, which is where most men fall down. If you bring your desire and your needs, then you're looking for someone to give you something (sex, adoration) to fill yourself up...which means
on your own, you're empty or lacking, so what can you give to another?
If that's all you have, your lack, your lust, and your sentimentality (romance), you have nothing. It peters out if there is nothing foundational that pre-dated the sex, in which to ground the sex . The platonic, agape (authentic) love is that foundation. For self and others. Let your agape love, your authentic love for others -- men AND women -- pour out of you freely, from the heart centre. Not in a lustful or grasping or greedy, promiscuous sense, but simply in appreciation for others as they are.
After you get to know someone better, you certainly may honestly own if you desire life partnership, if you are willing to commit with integrity. Otherwise, IMO you should just pay for it and refrain from deceit and misdirection simply to obtain sex or a partnership. A large proportion of men know they are or have been guilty of deceit and misdirection of others at some point, in order to get sex and touch and company, knowing full well they had no intention of commitment long-term. If you are tired of predators, then avoid being predatory by means of exploitation and lies, as well.
Peace & blessings
7L