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Well hers the problem, I don't have any control
Over what I'm thinking (or at least very little) the voice
Just goes in circles commenting on my every move or it will
Change and act as if it's me and it and talk to
Itself as I listen. All the while making my body feel different physical
Sensations some mild some almost unbearable. The voice qiets when I write so I can think to write but then it will get stronger and make
The symptoms stronger. I can't do any one thing for
Long It can make me cry at will, laugh at will or make
Me feel almost nothing at all. Or will have me sort of
Mimic the feelings I should be feeling but I know
It's not me. So hard to explain! It continues to move random body parts at different times at different degrees and I used to not believe it had this much control over me but I'm beginning to see just how much it really can do and no amount of will power is working because I've tried to
Fight and not fight, drown it out but when if I don't actually hear the voice I can still tell what it's saying. Sort of telepathically. When you have no
Idea what it's "feeding" off of how can you stop
It? and even if I could I just don't have control over stopping anything. I'm like a spectator in this nightmare.
Not feeling much of anything and it doesn't get better. I just have times where I feel a bit more like myself and then BAM the whole
Vicious cycle starts all over again.....with different degrees, words, different feelings and none of them are mine. I should be scared ****less after all it's shown that it can do but instead I feel very little or whatever it wants me to feel. I just hang on and hope and pray and research. It's a living hell.
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