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I suggest that the newly emerging "I" needs to feel accepted into the whole--(which to that emergent "I" is all else which is, )--needs to be accepted into the whole. Wise and loving caring fulfills this function. Fawning devotion, or projection of unfulfilled parental aspiration on to the child are incapable of fulfilling this function, for both make a servant of the child, denying the freedom to grow emotionally. So in those circumstances, and for other reasons which may hinder the necessary healthy transfer of significance from carer to emergent"I" as affirmation of being of the whole, the emergent "I" is obliged to construct some other means to provide that affirmation, a means that is not dependant upon what is beyond the "I", but is within the capability of the "I" to provide. The result is likely to be a form of self centredness, self centred behaviour, which would seem to be in response to not feeling affirmed as being of the whole, and ironically has the consequence of furthering and confirming any such supposed separation.
This is what I understand to be the nature of so called egotistic behaviour and the reason for it. This is not judgemental, it happens. The consequences for both the developing child and for that childs/now adult interaction with all which is also happen. If those consequences are thought to be in some way detrimental to that child/now adult and to society as a whole, then that is when and where judgement is required as to how such consequences may be avoided. In my judgement such consequences can only be avoided through understanding the mechanism which leads to forms of self centredess which have detrimental consequences to both individual and society.
petex
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