Some people's minds are very picky. How someone else looks (or how much money they have or how successful they are) is very important to them. I know a guy who never could get a girlfriend. He would occasionally mention to friends he liked some girl and they would immediately tell him she was "ugly" and not worth pursuing. He got very depressed and told me he gave up, he would be alone his whole life and he was fine with it. But it was obvious he was not fine with it.
Well randomly he was in another city for work and was lonely so he was looking through some online dating site on his phone and he messaged a girl. She agreed to meet him as she was near his hotel. Well he waited out there for over an hour. Finally he saw a girl walking across the street who looked like the girl and he messaged her. She answered back, "I am fat and ugly and you don't want to meet me." She then ran off. He followed her around that city for hours talking to her and finally they met. They have been very happily together a year now and are very much in love.
A lot of dating and relationships are "ego" based. How much money somebody has, how good looking they are, plays into it. But then we can also be attracted to how nice and kind and loving someone is. I remember being 18 and working at a gas station and going to a club with a co-worker and these attractive females were talking with us, then my friend blurted out where we worked and the females looked at each other, made faces, and walked off.
I'd also point out many monks and nuns choose to not have "spouses" and live happy and fulfilling lives. Statistics say something like 50% of marriages fail. So finding and maintaining a happy loving relationship with another is not necessarily an easy or always pleasurable thing.
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