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Originally Posted by Silvergirl
Hi Caleb, and thanks.
This is what I'm working on....I'm a 'maturer' femme, who has 'lost' many during my life here on Earth, the latest of which is my best friend, David and my son, Sean. The loss of my son is the hardest to cope with, obviously, and I have been exposed to non-dual/Buddhist type teachings in recent years, but have struggled to comprehend it all.
I've come to realize I have to find another way to look at this loss, and it is along these lines that this new way of seeing it lies, but if there is such a thing, I have need to perfect this new view.
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Blessings and welcome, Silvergirl. 
I extend my heart to you and to your dear, beloved ones who have crossed the Earth veil. You speak with great wisdom and openness. That is a very great realization and empowered attitude you have, indeed!
I offer this idea, that it is even a process of learning to perceive beyond the human idea of "loss," as I intuit that you are indeed learning, and with this new awareness that is birthed from within eventually comes a new choice of word, replacing "lost" and "loss" with words such as, "My loved one who has passed/transitioned," when referring to the past and present.
"Non-duality" is simply a way of perceiving and feeling that all life is now, that all exists now, that "Heaven" (the Eternal Now) is a reality of Divine Perfection that exists eternally where we stand (although "hidden" by the physical experience), and that even while physically embodied we may learn to perceive the transparency of where we stand, which "paradoxically" is the highest way a human may actually appreciate his/her physical existence, which is to perceive through its illusory nature. We actually depreciate ourselves and our True Nature whenever we focus so heavily upon what the physical senses show us, instead of focusing on (or at least looking for) the subtle sense of Oneness that is always present within us.
The "struggle" that you refer to, which is common to many, even most, is one of largely using the left-brained intellectual function in trying to understand that which is not intellectual in nature at all. To more clearly perceive Spirit, it is required that we learn to feel that all things that we perceive through the senses are actually forms of Spirit-Essence.
If you are right-handed, I would suggest that you may wish to practice writing using your left hand sometimes, such as in a journal, even, allowing information that is being channeled through your right-brain from your Higher Self to flow into your present awareness. If you did this, relaxed with an attitude of open expectancy, you would discover a new sense of clarity beyond words that would shed light upon your current understanding of non-duality, death and your life experience in general.
I am told that through poetry and collage, even through watercolors, perhaps, that you would awaken to a broader metaphysical understanding. However, most importantly, I want to congratulate you on your already (all ready) very profound, open mind and heart, for you are a Great Mother to all. Remember to be very thankful to yourself for the amazing Light that you already truly are, which you gracefully share in a ripple-effect with all of creation.
Nothing you've done and nothing you've gained has ever been lost.  You may want to even verbally affirm before a mirror (a technique I've used many times that has brought me greater understandings), something simple such as, "I AM open to greater clarity, God [Source, God/Goddess, Cosmic Mind, etc.]." You may even use this technique to open yourself to new insights through lucid dreaming.
It is my understanding that we often fear that "closure" in regards to our connection with loved ones who have transitioned would somehow mean that while we are "here" and they are "there," that this would entail some kind of disconnection from them, as if they would become a distant, forgotten memory. This is not really the case with true closure, for true closure is actually an opening of awareness to a new, more joyous and free state of being. There is a sense of RELIEF that far surpasses the pain, struggle and attachment that we formerly clung to, and we actually feel CLOSER to our loved ones who have passed. It is the exact opposite of what we often fear! 
It is my prayer that some of these ideas may be of great service to you, dear Silvergirl. Thank you eternally for sharing with me/us here. Blessings.
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