Spirituality and some kind of therapy usually helps alot. Therapy (one on one and group) helps you bring memories and emotions to the surface so you can let them go. And it can be even more effective if combined with spirituality.

From what I've been learning, we receive dysfunction from our parents. But the point isn't blaming them, it's to recognize why we are the way we are. Some people have a hard time with this first step because they feel like they're betraying their family. But healing yourself is not betraying your family.

Also you might think about some kind of recovery program for the drugs and alcohol. Getting sober will help alot.