[hallow]

Originally Posted by Shivani Devi

I figured that this thread comes on the back of "Does God Want Us To Be Perfect?" thread.

I started off loving my parents, found out they didn't even want me and I was 'unplanned' - I was sexually and physically abused by my father, totally ignored by my mother and left to rot.

I had no friends in school and growing up...I was bullied, teased, made fun of and bashed outside the school gates every afternoon.

The only person who ever seemed to care was grandma, but she died when I was very young.

Got married...was treated like a slave and as long as my husband's shirts were ironed, his meals were ready on time and the house was kept clean, he didn't give a damn about me otherwise...we got divorced when I became totally fed up. He needed a maid and NOT a wife.

I had two children who grew up independent of me...didn't want me in their lives from day 1 and left home in their teens without giving any forwarding address...haven't seen them since.

I look at the news...I just see the people around...no consideration for others, always in a race to be 'first' at anything THEY want to do, pushing others out of the way...trampling people underfoot...a lot of people seem no better than animals and I thought we had intelligence! I thought we had progressed beyond our 'animal nature'...who was I kidding?

Of course I can love the 'spark of the Divine' in people...in a rock...in a tree...in a dog...but I cannot love the behaviour of people and it's hard for me to feel love and compassion for those who 'make their own beds' and then whine that they can't get a good night's sleep.

Also, being autistic, I was born without the ability to feel empathy or compassion and I have tried to learn how, until I discovered that this is something which cannot be learned or taught...you either have it or you don't...and I don't.

according to your story you have been through hell. I am sure you built up walls to protect yourself. But you do feel empathy and compassion for others. If you didn't you wouldn't be here.