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Aww :( the divine one I do hope you are ok and will seek help if needed...
I'm curious though, I too believe in reincarnation, but to me we all have lessons to learn in each life we choose/are given... so if we was to leave too soon surely we would just need to comeback to learn the very same lesson.
What will make you happy in this life? There is always a way, even if you was in the wrong body (you mentioned wanting to come back as female) there are ways to change the outer to match the inner... maybe it's worth talking to your doctor if things are really bad. You can and will find happiness if you work at it
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