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God can be the greatest doctor there is and He knows me inside-out.
Up until now, I haven't really been listening to Him and I have been physically afflicted with poor health as a result of it.
He's like:
"How can you really enjoy it if you do it every day? You need to cut it down to once a week - I'd prefer it if it didn't happen at all, but weekly is better than daily and monthly is even better still".
I know that His love and Grace is a hundred times better than any chemical effect I can ever feel, but I never allow myself to indulge, bathe and wallow in it for any length of time, so I reach for a 'crutch'.
God: "You do realise that the next month is going to be like a living hell for you, but worry not - you always have Me".
He has told me how to break the addiction and it involves regulating every aspect of my life down to the minute...when to wake up, when to meditate, when to shower, when to eat, when to work, when to sleep. etc
The path is narrow and brutal, but God is like "just how bad do you want this?"
I'm tired of being tired...all of the side-effects...developing tolerances which lead to total intolerances, but I still do it anyway...
It's time to stop, or at least do it 'ceremoniously' if I am going to - have 'special occasions' that I can look forward to when I can really enjoy it, rather than taking the fact it is 'there' for granted (God says I do that to Him too). lol
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I am the creator of my own reality, so please don't get offended if I refuse to allow you to be the creator of it instead of focusing on creating your own. Thanks.
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