[Miss Hepburn]

You brought up so many things...you are correct about love... what is it?
If you are not content with yourself that will reflect in most everything you
do or think it will boil over into your interactions...haven't you found?

Try thinking of love as kindness...to the person unsmiling walking by you, the
stray cat, every lonely, poverty stricken person you see...and most of
all yourself...be kind with your thoughts about yourself....
"Well, I did that stupid thing...but I'll do better next time." And then smile and make that a plan.

Start simple.

I say, Forget all the high-flalootin talk of unconditional love and all...just start being nicer, period.
Smiling more, looking at resolutions to issues, rather than focusing on how terrible something is.

Start with baby steps to change your perspective; change your thoughts,
your negativity to positivity for 3 days....see for yourself what happens seeing a glass half full. No bull***....test it for yourself.

Ponder what is the difference between the person who gets their car dented while shopping and goes bazerk ...
and the Buddhist monk (that drives) and his car also gets dented, but he is peaceful and takes it in his stride?
What is that quality? It is the thinking, the perspective....the choice that has been made.

Start with being kind in your thoughts and deeds....3 days...see the difference.

My .02. (There's more to it than this ...it's just a start.)
There are tons to address in your post...I had time for just this one thing.