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Originally Posted by Lorelyen
Well, there isn't much point in chasing someone you regard as weak and cowardly as long as you accept this as your assessment. It could just be that the guy lost interest or differences emerge. Sometimes arguments start and if over emotional or spiritual issues no one surely pins any hope on a good future. Times, sure, one may be under stresses that dull their mood, perhaps depress or anger them - jobs, family, expectations from elsewhere, bereavement, debt, all sorts of things, then it may be temporary. So with support the thing can possibly resume.
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Very much truth said (at least from my truth filter). So far as I read your posts, I get a general opinion that they're very insightful, spot-on, realistic, down to earth and I like it in people who I'm discussing with.
Although you can't really get into my situation to be completely right, I admire your effort to logically think about things. I think they're weak or cowardly because I see the certain bahaviour patterns which occurs, and it is happening for a very long time now to give any excuse of being stressed, depressed (unless it's that "dark night of a soul" which I'm suspecting right now). Maybe I'm a little bit impatient, having in mind that I took several years, to get out of this stagnant state, but I always saw them like very strong person who can regenerate very quickly out of low energy experiences.
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Originally Posted by Lorelyen
But it's a feature with some men - they had little to open their hearts to in the beginning let alone the end. The romance and sexual exploration (if applicable) get exhausted and they're off looking for something new to sniff around. They bandy the word "love" in those early days; yearn; seem ready to commit...as long as the thing holds their interest.
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I know that men, just like women, need to explore in the young days. We are now in those darn young days. And I know that I have explored something already, while they haven't actually. I find myself waiting while they meet someone new to realize there is only me (sounds kind of pathetic...). So that's why I'm "moving to" myself and letting them alone.
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Originally Posted by Lorelyen
There are exceptions obviously. It can happen with women too. The sex becomes lack-lustre, the bloke gets up straight after a bang that maybe lasted less than 5 minutes and turns on the TV, gets a beer from the fridge and the girl thinks how long is she going to put up with this lot? And/or the demands made by one of the other become too much. The magic has gone and one might as well be honest and "face reality". But yeah, if you really like a guy and he wanders off it's saddening, frustrating and forces questions. But reckoning up the situation honestly, give time to nurse the wounds, and someone else turns up.
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This example of yours, which is very generalizing, about TV and beer, or the demands/expectations from each other in relationship and all the basic normal household problems might be what scares them off, and I know that for sure since they mentioned it to me. It scares me the same. The difference is that I know we are "not as others" and we could very easily avoid such conflicts, our lives can't even get to that point since we have very similar values, behaviours, habits, if not the same. I know, it could change, but it's more likely not, since our personalities/characters correlates on a such agreement level it seems untouchable, or evolving at the same time, influencing each other.
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Originally Posted by Lorelyen
You never forget but you try to encase the good times in the museum of your memories knowing with that person they can never be recovered or rerun.
Sad, yes, but life can't be halted because a difference breaks a couple up.
☼
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That's another of those pains, that we have to go through. We both really grasp on old stuff from the past, "good times" and all. But I'm moving out of all attachments and they're just still stuck.