Originally Posted by Ariaecheflame

Hi JL.
Very true analogy, thanks.... This is something which seemed to be at play in my consciousness yesterday as well.

IT was funny because after I posted this I went to sleep and had a dream which ended up waking me in the end.
Strangely enough the whole concept was present in the pit of my awareness as a sense and inner knowing.

So I have inner 'knowing' now and inner sensing of the concept.

I think the difference for me and my experience has been that detachment has been my default mode so I never really had a strong sense that I could even be attached to experiences good or bad to begin with. So I found that the language was very often geared for people who already had a strong sense of identity and experience to attach to.
I was always encouraged to not attach to anything in my church growing up so I really did struggle to bridge that divide.

Now I have realised that I can actually fully appreciate and become absorbed in experiences in the moment... I took detachment to an unhealthy extreme and it meant that I was not present to experience things at all.

I seem to do things a little backwards to most.

Buddhism is not a great philosophy if your starting point is trauma based detachment but it is working well for me now that I have healed past trauma and come to a place where I actually now have a sense of 'self or essence or infinite self' or what have you...' to not need to attach to changable traits of ego identity. I do value personal values though but they are ever changeable too.


Thanks...

I apologise if my writing is not well structured, I have some difficulties communicating concise thoughts on this forum sometimes. I appreciate the opportunity to communicate though.