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I cannot give you any professional advice and I strongly recommend that you seek a medical and mental health professional for a consultation. Severe depression is treatable either with talk therapy and/or medication. Although the ideal situation is for people to be able to work through their afflictions without the need for medication, it is sometimes necessary. You and your medical/mental health professional could decide what is the best course of treatment for you.
In addition to seeking a health care professional to consult about your depression, I would also like to suggest Meditation. This has helped me immensely with combating my depression. It allows for me to break through the clouds of PTSD and self defeating/negative thought patterns. There are days when it gets very very dark in my mind and meditation was the only thing that helps in those crucial moments when I feel all hope is loss and I am in unimaginable psychic torment. In addition, I have a wonderful and spiritually sensitive therapist that is immensely helpful. Don't be afraid to seek out professional help.
I know sometimes the pain of depression can be very unbearable and to sit quietly and practice being present in meditation is near impossible. If that is the case, I suggest listening to guided meditation on Youtube. There are so many out there, you can simply type in "meditation depression" in the search box or whatever else you may like such as "meditation to release trauma" or "meditation for inner peace" etc.
I know only too well what a debilitating monster depression can be, but with help from a mental health professional and my meditation practice, I am healing and doing ok. I hope you find a therapist that is the right fit for you (don't be afraid to shop around). If you and your doctor or mental health professional decide that medication might be the right fit for you for the time being, please also take that into consideration. Best of luck to you. :)
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