[Shivani Devi]

Seeing as how we are the only ones that's going to be posting on this thread, there's something I must reveal to you now....it is time.

This is why we are the dearest of friends! I knew this right from the start and had it reconfirmed when you spoke about shaivite tantra a few months ago.

It is very difficult for me to feel empathy (as you know) and it is also almost impossible for me to say "I love you" to another human being, but when you were going through hell last month, my heart chakra exploded and what came out was the result of me seeing Lord Shiva inside you. He really loves you and you are also His - I have felt this.

As much as you don't want to admit it and maybe you aren't quite ready to admit it just now, you are a Shiva bhakta. It will take time for you to come to the full awareness and acceptance of it, but it is inevitable. You talk about 'chasing spiritual highs' and 'the river' and all of that, but all you need to do is to open your heart up and surrender it to Shiva...fully surrender it. The resulting spiritual high...the bliss is incredible!

He is always there, even when you are down and if you shed tears in loving worship of Him, your kundalini will go through the roof, but the trick is not to want this to happen...expect nothing, ask for nothing but to never forget Him and just let it go with all the love you have inside.

You have a very beautiful heart and I have felt it. You radiate such presence that my 'Shiva radar' beeps like mad. It's up to you now to find this within, not to just concentrate and focus on the amazing power of Bhairava, but also on the love of Shiva and just let yourself totally drown in that river without putting up a struggle.

Aum Namah Shivaya