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Hello,
What a sad post!
I am afraid I have to agree to one point, and only one point.
That this lifetime feels like hell,but not all 64 years of it,just the last 36,it's an unusual statement coming from me, I just believe that God/source never gives us more than what we can handle,and every individual is different!
I don't look forward to death,but will have no choice when the time comes I just have to accept it.
And I do enjoy this lifetime,it's not been easy since I was a kid,but I got through,not unscathed but I made 64 and a half, but the last 35 have been rough,but "that's life".
As for reincarnation, well I accept whatever comes my way, and I don't know what that is yet,if and when it happens,it happens!
I want to live as long as my allotted plan,whatever was mapped out for me!
This life can be agonisingly long,just like a visit to the dentist but I have to accept it,this really is my lot in life.
Some have an easy life,"or so it seems" and others have a harder life, "or so it seems"
But life is what you make it,you are the Captain of the ship, and only you can weather the storms and relax during the calms.
Its a very delicate balance life,a lot of folk struggle with all of the complexities of it,it's very easy to not really understand it all,but,its the way it is,this really is "life"
I really hope your thoughts settle a little,you are getting good advice from the members here,and something will resonate within you hopefully.
KRB
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