Originally Posted by BringMeTheHorizon
First of all, I hope I posted this in the right section. Because it's mainly about death and the afterlife but it also involves some stuff regarding past lives and my health at the moment.
Okay so when I was 15, I had this heart disease which could've easily killed me but it didn't. And it took me about 2-3 years to overcome this. But now I'm 23 years old and I'm really ill again. Like I'm in so much pain every single day and this has been going on for a month now. This disease seems to target my muscles and nerves all over my body. The doctors thought of multiple sclerosis but all of my scans and tests were fine. So basically they have no clue what's going on. And it made me wonder, am I somehow being punished? Maybe for being bad in a past life? Maybe this is karma?
I've heard people say that overcoming illnesses makes you stronger and all that. But I don't see how? I had a good life before this. I mean I had friends, I went to uni, did my homework. And now I was forced to cancel all of my upcoming exams, I can't even go out anymore. The only thing I do is sleep as much as I possible can so I don't have to deal with the pain. I feel so desperate that I even prayed to God and asked for advice from any of my spirit guides. I'm a lucid dreamer, so it's easy for me to remember my dreams. But so far, none of my dreams were about my illness. So it looks like I'm not getting any signs.
Or could this illness be a spiritual sign to let me know that it's my time to go and to end it all? I know I can hold on for a few more days or maybe a few weeks but not months or even the rest of my life. The pain just seems to get worse as days go by. :(
I just want some answers as to why this is happening to me. Because I know a lot of you guys know much more than me when it comes to life and the afterlife.
I'm sorry to hear that you had heart disease at 15. Thats tough, and thats a long time to struggle with it.
When people say that struggling with something makes them stronger they don't mean when they are in the middle of struggling with it. They mean later, after they've gotten through it. You are in pain. Its not time for you to be feeling or doing anything but the basics in taking care of yourself right now. I would advise you to find out what is causing the problem as soon as you can and also let your parents (if they are not clear on it) and the doctors know that you are in a lot of pain. Pain wears on people. Especially the pain you are talking about. From my point of view reading what you wrote it would be a good idea to get it in control as soon as you can, however they best advise that.
I don't know why you are going through what you are. I don't know why I went through what I did. I do know that I was watching a woman ask a guru one time why her child committed suicide. She said to him "was it something I did wrong? Was it something I should have seen?" He said to her, "you will never be able to understand the answer from where you are looking at it." I'm not sure if what I'm saying is making sense or not - but what I mean is that there are a lot of things that could be said right now, but right now, I'm reading that you feel really terribly bad, I guess what I mean is that sometimes we aren't in the place to understand, it doesn't mean we will always be there-
I will tell you for sure that so much will make sense that does not right now. and maybe I am totally not helping one bit. If I could tell you my life-
the illness is not a spiritual sign to let go and to end it all.
I do not believe life works that way.
Can you reach out to a councellor? More doctors?
Hang in there for now. If I could give advice, keep on pushing to find out what is wrong so you can get back getting healthier. You deserve to be healthy and happy. Don't give up.
Take good care of you in the meantime, make sure to eat well, keep your body as strong as you can, sleep well.
Wishing you the best, Marie
*Staffed Edited due to thread being cleaned up and edited content no longer relevant.