Hi Manda

My grandmother was like my second mother, and also a best friend. Crazy old bat. :) She died almost 3 years ago and I still break down sometimes. I lived with her up until the end.

When she first died her phone on her desk rang one night, and picked it up and there was just this bizarre static that wouldn't go away after a few hangups. Then I would see the curtains on the doors in one room that would billow and I would feel like she was there.

I would also have many dreams about her, hugging her, smelling her, embracing, the fabric felt so real, as did her skin. Over time it was less like that and more like I would just be in a situation with her, other times I would have horrifying dreams where she was evil, or something pretending to be her.

At any rate, I haven't had a dream about her in a long time that was like it was at first and I really miss it. On christmas eve I did dream of her though, coming home, as if recovering from her illness, she said hi to me and told me she was back and I felt such relief, and I started to cry in the dream, and my mother came to the door and they embraced. And that was it.

If the spirit world is really timeless, then we should be able to contact them whenever, we just don't know how. And if it does at all relate to time as we know it, at least in their part of it, maybe they are busy or not allowed to keep coming.

I even had one dream where she couldn't really remember me, and my grandfather was in the dream reminding her who I was. She was at his desk organizing things, i.e. to me it meant she was busy focussing on new tasks, and she apologized and said, "Oh, I'm sorry honey, sometimes it's hard for me to remember."

not sure how much weight that holds for what really goes on, but she comes to me when I least expect now. Maybe try to focus on her when you go to sleep, think happy thoughts, happy events you had, send out the love, you know?

But I'm no expert. Some people say we should let go. Others say we should hang on. I don't see a problem with doing both. Accept them being gone so you can survive, laugh and smile at good memories when you can, and when you feel the need for them, say it, feel it, project it, out loud if you must, and try to be happy. Maybe she'll come again. Hurts like hell sometimes but I can't find any better solution for myself.