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metal68, this is really tough. I do know. I have seen so many pass away....my grandmothers, (first one when I was 5) -dear mother, my father, my husband, my best (human) friend,among others....
This 'death-mask' situation is extremely common. It is very hard for observers to take with equanimity and understanding. It is very upsetting.
I can say with no hesitation that what is actually going on with them at that time is not quite the same as we might imagine from looking at their faces. The muscles have no more tone, and the mouth is dry, and the breathing is often laboured, and so that's why the face falls into such slackness. The eyes are not focused on this world any more, but on something inner. That's why the eyes are wide open with no expression. Also the blinking reflex doesn't work.
It is hard to observe but entirely natural. But at those times, my grandmother smiled suddenly and laughed and said names of long deceased relatives....
My husband cried just a few tears (and I who knew him also knew only emotionally-moving happy scenarios ever made him cry. He never cried for any other reason.)
I am only saying all that to try to be of some help in easing this for you. Those are my experiences. They are not seeing what we see.
I am sure positive suggestion via hypnotism might possibly help you. And hopefully the understanding of the natural processes of the death of the body.
The processes of birth are upsetting to some also!
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