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Kudos to you!
I fully agree with you, that unless you yourself are willing and able to do the deed, you should not benefit from it. That's why when I was younger I went to witness a cow being slaughtered and butchered, went to a dairy farm and interacted with the calves, went to a chicken farm to see the conditions they were raised in and went fishing to catch, gut and cook it myself.
I still eat meat, but not very often. When I do I am fully aware of the whole process and what it is exactly that I am eating.
I definitely recommend that everyone out there, spiritual or no, see and experience what happens to animals. Only then can you truly come to a moral decision about eating meat and animal products.
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