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Originally Posted by lunapixie
I feel that for all of us, those waiting or not waiting or even those who are running, there will always be this sensation of unfinished business. Don’t you agree? Like a feeling of “this isn’t over” even when we speak all the words which point to it being over and move on in our lives, sometimes with other romantic partners.
The connection itself never disappears and it seems to perpetuate a sensation of some type of an ongoing process which we can’t seem to ever fully graduate from, for lack of a better word.
I am not waiting for him to come back as my life is so much better and richer without him. But I still feel like I’m with him as he’s always with me. No matter what, always, until my last breath and beyond. And I’m not even being romantic about it. Not at all. This situation is just something that I’ve come to accept.
I really love those rare periods when I almost (almost) forget about him. But that never lasts for long and it always seems to lead to a period of intense synchronicities and jaw-dropping signs. Sigh...
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Unfinished business is an understatement. I've been trying to make peace with the feeling that things aren't quite over, even though from an outside perspective it's completely dead. I have a lot to say but know that at the moment, it would only serve to make things worse. She's in a relationship now, so what all I can hope for is that she's open enough to intuit what I'd like to express.
I've been in denial about connected I still feel to her. I just admitted it to myself recently. I thought that because I wasn't longing for any sort of relationship, that this feeling would dissipate. On the other hand, I feel grateful for it, because it's taught me how to love in a more expansive way. I don't expect my love to be reciprocated, because love is all I need. I never feel alone because she's always with me. I wish she'd know much I appreciate that, even though it hurts like hell at times.
It's moments where I don't feel or think about her, that she pops in some way. It can be a bit nerve-racking at times.