[MattMVS7]

The thought that I am having a hellish experience would certainly be there. However, the quality of experience I would be having would possess a completely neutral quality that would yield no real perceptual experience of any hellish or horrible experience. I realize that thoughts alone are experiences. But since thoughts alone possess a completely neutral quality of experience, then they can offer our lives no real hellish or horrible experience. At least, that has definitely been the case with me. But let's pretend that all of my thoughts were completely disabled so that I could not make any value judgments whatsoever. How do people react to things they judge to be horrible and hellish to them? They react in such a way that displays negative tones, acts, and gestures. If you were to, for example, saw my limbs off when all of my thinking faculties are completely turned off, I would still display negative tones, acts, and gestures which would clearly indicate that I am in pain.

Likewise, I would also display positive tones, acts, and gestures if I were to experience the most powerful and intense bliss of my life in my mindless state. These positive expressions could be on a much smaller scale, but they would still be there. Given this, I think this makes it quite clear that our good and bad moods/feelings themselves truly possess beautiful and horrible qualities to us and that it is not a matter of our value judgments that determine the type of experience we have. As for depressed people who think that their lives still have good value/worth to them and carry on in life as though their lives really do possess good value/worth to them, I could apply the same experiment to them (just pretend). If I were to completely disable all their thinking faculties, then their depression would be exposed for what it truly is. Since these depressed people would now display negative tones and expressions which is a reflection of their depressed mood, then their depression is what gives their lives the perceptual experience of bad value.

Value judgments alone, even without our good and bad moods/feelings, can still allow us to live our lives where we still display positive and negative tones/acts. But the question is, are they reacting to an actual perceptual experience of good value/worth and bad value in their lives? Or are they reacting to nothing more than just a thought? Based on my personal experience, I think they are acting upon nothing more than just thoughts and attitudes alone. During my worst miserable moments, I have chosen to get the help I needed to change my life for the better. I had the thought that I needed to do this to change my life for the better. One could say that this had good value/worth to me. Otherwise, why would I even bother? But what these people are not realizing here is that my life was still completely dead, devoid of all perceived good value/worth, and it was the worst hellish life for me. So, I could have very well had the thought that this had good value/worth to me. But I realized that I was not actually perceiving any good value/worth in my life at all.

The fact is, my life needed a good quality of experience that would enable me to actually perceive good value/worth in my life. Neutral or horrible qualities of experience cannot possibly yield such a perceptual experience in my life. Again, I am not projecting any value judgments when saying that these experiences are of good quality, bad quality, and neutral quality. I will give you a t.v. analogy. If the picture on the screen was the best quality in the world and you judged it to be horrible quality, then you would be talking nonsense. It is, therefore, not our value judgment that determines the quality of the image. Rather, there is an objective method of determining the quality that this picture has. If the picture is at a certain level of quality, then it either classifies into the poor quality range or the good quality range. It doesn't matter what value judgment we use in judging that quality. Our value judgments would have no bearing on reality.

In that same sense, our quality of experience works the same way. Our level of good moods/feelings falls within the good quality range, our level of bad moods/feelings falls within the poor (bad) quality range, while having neither good nor bad moods/feelings is like having the t.v. turned off. You cannot have a good and beautiful quality image when the screen is of the worst quality just as how you cannot have any perceptual good or beautiful experience in your life when you are experiencing the worst feelings of misery and despair of your life. Remember, it is only how we feel that determines the quality of experience we have, according to my hypothesis/philosophy. Otherwise, without your moods/feelings, then you would have no quality of experience which would be equivalent to the t.v. screen being turned off.

As you can see, based upon everything I have explained, it is instead our experiences themselves that possess these qualities and not a matter of value judgment. I guess you could say that this good quality of experience I needed would be the divine light of God in my life. I don't believe in God, the paranormal, and the afterlife. I am actually undecided when it comes to those things. But let's just go with my God analogy anyway to make things interesting. This divine light would be my good moods/feelings. Therefore, my good moods/feelings are not just pleasant moods/feelings and nothing more. They would be the sacred, divine, holy light to my life that make me a beautiful being of light and my entire reality beautiful and filled with good value, worth, and joy.

This sacred light-filled state of consciousness is a divine and transcended form of awareness (state of mind) that transcends all other forms of awareness which are either mechanistic (yield no perceptual quality of good value/worth to my life) or are nothing but a descended form of awareness (suffering, hell, torment, misery, bad value, etc.). In this divine state, I become perceptually aware of all the good value, joy, worth, beauty, and happiness of this life. I am able to truly experience these qualities for what they are. But if I were to have this divine awareness taken away from me, then I would be descended into a horrible/hellish state where I perceive horrible value in my life or I would simply be living by a mechanistic standard of good value/worth in my life. That is, it wouldn't be any actual perceived good value/worth in my life. Rather, it would be a mechanistic (no quality) standard that would offer my life no real perceptual experience of good value/worth.

I need to be in that divine state since my soul seeks the realm of the light and one with the Divine. I will not stand living my life in the dark realms or the blank (neutral) realm. That is why I need to be in a normal, healthy, fully recovered state of mind from any horrible miserable experiences in my life. That will keep me into the realm of the light and out of the darkness. Many people deny this divine light in my life as being nothing more than a value judgment. When I experience this divine light filling me up such as when I feel very excited and joyful over a new movie or video game, I would tell them that this experience truly is beautiful for me. But they would respond and say that this is nothing more than a value judgment on my part. But what these people fail to realize is that the divine light truly possesses a beautiful quality of experience for an individual and that this is not a matter of value judgment. As you can see here, our good moods/feelings are the very divine light of God we need in our lives and many people don't realize this. They are way too caught up in their personal value judgments to realize what the light truly is.

Even if people experienced the divine light (good moods/feelings) and disliked them and thought they were horrible experiences that were of the worst value to them, then this would still be false. He/she would be having thoughts of disliking the divine light and he/she would be having thoughts of it being horrible to him/her, but he/she is still having nothing but a beautiful divine experience that gives his/her life the perceptual experience of good value/worth. The same thing would apply if a person experienced a miserable mood/feeling (the dark spiritual energy) and liked it and thought that it was something good to him/her. The dark spiritual energy possesses a quality to it that makes it, not only poison, but also makes it of a horrible quality that can only yield a perceptual experience of bad value in a person's life. Perhaps liking something can only be a good feeling that gives a person's life at least some perceptual good value/worth and perhaps disliking something can only be a bad feeling. That would create a mix of feelings/moods for a person who likes a miserable mood/feeling. If the person was experiencing mostly a miserable mood and a tiny amount of liking (a good feeling/mood), then he/she would be perceiving something such as 80% bad value in his/her life and 20% good value. However, I am not exactly sure if liking and disliking really would be good and bad moods/feelings.

When people have heavenly near death experiences, they experience a far greater degree of bliss (good moods/feelings) for a reason. It is because, in the higher heavenly spiritual realms, there is much more of this divine light energy that the person can be filled up with. It would give him/her a far greater and more powerful perceptual awareness of good value, love, joy, beauty, and worth than the small amount he/she would have here on Earth. There truly is nothing more to life than this divine light. If you still do not understand what I mean and if it still makes no sense to you when I say that our experiences themselves, regardless of our value judgments, truly are beautiful and yielding of good value/worth to our lives while others are horrible and yielding bad value to our lives, then there are experiences that you cannot comprehend. People who have near death experiences will report to you experiences they've had. They might not make sense to you or anyone else. But if you were to have these experiences for yourself, then you would know.

Our good moods/feelings already are the experience of beauty, good value, worth, etc. in our lives and, like I said, people just don't realize this and it makes no sense to them. So, our brains really do create experiences that are truly horrible and beautiful for us and it is not a matter of value judgment. I would like to say a few more things before I conclude this. That is, this whole entire explanation I've given to you in regards to God and the divine light is nothing more than an analogy as I've mentioned before to make my point clear. The analogy sort of sounds like the New Age spiritual belief. Therefore, I would call my version of hedonism "New Age Hedonism." It is an evolved (upgraded) version of hedonism.

We as a society are evolving towards a hedonistic culture. In the distant future, I would imagine a society that is almost entirely hedonistic. I personally think that the non hedonistic values are outdated and, as I've said before, do not give a person's life the actual perceptual awareness of good value/worth. I think that we need to be awakened to the New Age Hedonistic values. Since I am undecided on the existence of the soul, God, and the afterlife, then I am very well open minded towards the possibility that my God/divine light analogy that I explained earlier is actually real and not just some analogy. I think my analogy would apply both in a purely naturalistic universe where there is no God, divine light, afterlife, etc. as well as in a universe where those things really do exist.

In a purely naturalistic universe, we wouldn't call it the divine light. Our good moods/feelings would instead simply be things we need in our lives to give our lives the perceptual experience of good value/worth. When we are in a really good mood such as if we were experiencing very profound and intense beautiful feelings, then that would not be the realm of the light in a purely naturalistic universe. It would instead simply be the state of mind where we have an enhanced perceptual awareness of good value/worth. Lastly, some people would say that my whole philosophy is nonsense and irrational. That could be the case. Or it might not be the case. After all, my values are solely based on pure emotion because it is only how I feel that determines whether I see good or bad value in my life. Emotions are irrational which could very well mean that my values are irrational and have no foundation in rational thinking. Imagine if a wild hedonistic animal came up with its own philosophy. That philosophy might be irrational because its foundation is nothing but pure emotion and instinct.

However, when it comes to other endeavors, I think I am quite rational. But even during these rational endeavors, I still need my good moods/feelings to give these endeavors the perceptual experience of good value/worth to me. But when it comes to my personal life and what gives my life value, then I am emotional rather than rational. I live my life purely by emotion alone. If things are very dear, precious, and valuable to you, then I think that would have to be an emotional aspect of your existence. Hence the reason why I am this New Age Hedonist in the first place. I see emotions as being everything to being human. However, it is only the positive emotions that I see as yielding perceptual good value and worth in a person's life. I see a life devoid of positive emotions as a life yielding no quality of experience or a horrible quality of experience if said life was a life filled with miserable emotions. Thus, there would be no real perceptual quality of good value/worth in these types of lives. But in the event that I really am correct with my whole hypothesis/philosophy, then this could be a world changing revolution.

People would realize that our mental well being is the only thing that matters in life (if they could, of course, experience good moods/feelings to make this idea matter to them). Once this notion becomes something that matters to these people, then they would be encouraged through their good moods/feelings to try to find cures for depression and other illnesses that take away our good moods/feelings. Perhaps they would find a way to create a blissful utopia life for all of us in the distant future which, according to my worldview, would be the only greatest life for all of us since it would be a life that would offer us the greatest quality and intensity of bliss. It would be a life where we would suffer from no more depression, anhedonia, misery, and we would get all the fancy things we want that would offer our lives even more bliss.

To finally conclude this packet, I will just summarize my entire worldview. It would be that having fun, enjoying your life, getting sexually aroused, going on blissful dream vacations, etc. is divine. It is the divine perceptual awareness of good value, worth, joy, beauty, and happiness we need in our lives. I do not agree with the definition of divine set forth by, for example, fundamentalist Christians who advocate the idea that it is through giving up our sinful hedonistic pursuits and other sins that we become one with the Divine. People are also wrong when they say that our higher, humanistic qualities and needs depend upon non hedonistic pursuits, endeavors, and lifestyles such as caring for others, helping others, making the world a better place, etc. Sure, these types of non hedonistic attributes would certainly come in handy when saving/helping our lives and the lives of others. For example, you would definitely want to escape from danger if you could not feel anything good or bad. But even so, all endeavors in our lives that are non hedonistic are still nothing more than wise decisions to save/help our lives and make our future better. But they, alone, offer our lives no real perceptual quality of good value/worth.

This means that people who struggle with depression and anhedonia should end their lives providing that they cannot recover their good moods/feelings fully or sufficiently within a reasonable time frame. After all, who would want to drag their life on and on with little to nothing good or worthwhile actually perceived in their lives? Please take important note that I am not actually advocating that these depressed/anhedonic people should end their lives. All I am saying here is that my worldview would say this. I am not actually saying this as a person to depressed/anhedonic people out there. However, I would definitely be saying this to myself. If I struggled with depression, misery, or anhedonia that could not fully or sufficiently recover within the reasonable time frame of 1-2 years, then I would end my life regardless of how much grief, anger, and hurt it causes others. It is not a matter of me being selfish and greedy and I will explain why.

If there were some sort of sacred fruit and this was truly the only thing that could sustain us with life force that gives our lives the perceptual quality of good value/worth, then this fruit is truly all there is to life and being human. Without this fruit, then there is simply no reason to live because even the idea of living on for others to not cause them grief must rely on this fruit to make it a good and worthwhile endeavor for him/her to remain in this life for others, his/her hobbies, etc. Our positive emotions would be this sacred fruit. They are truly all there is to life and all there is to being human and people would be delusional to think otherwise. They would be giving me delusional garbage words of advice if they were to tell me that my life can still have actual good value and worth to me in the absence of these good moods/feelings. With all of this being said, I would end my life if I could not recover these good moods/feelings back to me within that reasonable time frame. Hopefully, there is an eternal blissful afterlife of my dreams where I can be blissful all I want and get whatever I want. I do not agree with the Christian God and the doctrine of hell. Therefore, if God were real, then I would have to think he would understand me, my values, my situation, and give me the eternal blissful afterlife of my dreams.