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Sounds like this loss has caused you to try and disown your emotions. Probably sadness but when we try to suppress one emotion we suppress them all. Work on understanding loss and what it means to you and you may free up your emotional body. I have found Mindfulness to be very helpful. The fact you disassociate from your experience may actually help you become more aware of the subtle changes in your emotional body and thoughts. When a shift occurs or something gets triggered simply get curious as to why. When we get curious life conspires to help us understand. It will propel your life forward. And try to remember it isn't a healing we are after but rather understanding. We are never truly broken, just confused. Life is a process of turning ignorance (no awareness) into wisdom. You will sort this out.
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