When I was a young adult I had more baggage than an airport.
As far as healing. Once I read the only thing we have to deal with and heal from is what is in our own back yard. And I have to give an emphatical nod to that statement as I look back.
In healing I read a lot of spiritual books trying to figure out why my childhood was such a mess and my teen and early adult years were full of bad choices and questionable behaviors. I carried a big placard around with the word victim on it. Not literally but mentally.
We come here to learn. We learn not by reading a book or taking a class. Life lessons can't be learned from a book. Books are for learning math and stuff like that. We learn life lessons by making mistakes. Doing bad stuff. When we can give ourselves a honest look in the mirror and decide we don't like our self very much; that's when change begins. That's when we learn to be a better human being.
You wouldn't be the person you are today had you not gone down that bumpy path when you were young. You were never supposed to be the person you came into this lifetime as. You were supposed to be the person you are now. You have more compassion, empathy and appreciation for the rest of your life.
That's what I realized about myself. No, I don't get A+ on my report card on all subjects but I get a few. The rest are C's and D's and that is just fine with me. I'm not supposed to be perfect. I'm supposed to be human who came here to learn.
In my reading books I learned we actually make a life blueprint before we come here. We have a lesson plan. We choose a family that will help us learn our lessons (those aren't necessarily good lessons they help us learn). We choose DNA that is in line with what lessons we will learn. Now if that is true (which I believe it is) then I have no one to blame but myself for what happened to set me on a path full of pitfalls and boulders. And if that is the case (which I believe it is) then I am responsible for everything that happened to me. Which means those who harmed me were merely there as instruments to help me learn my lessons.
I'm 65 now. I've healed from all the trauma. All the bad choices/behaviors. I've forgiven myself. I brushed myself off and stood myself back up and I am moving forward again.
Just remember: you did the best you could back then with the information you had. You know better now and can and do make better choices. Which equates to: lessons learned.