|
blue flotsam I think you are further on than you think - you have been able to identify the cause of some of your feelings and that is, in my book, around 90% of the battle. You can change the mantras that exist.
The caged feeling I totally identify with, I think there is a shift going on at the moment, an adjustment period, the old has gone and the new is here and that feels alien and the old no longer works and so feels to me to be a "cage". I channelled that exact word and that substance of this para.
Don't think in terms of good or bad, you are neither, you are you - and the you that you are is perfect for the now with a healing journey ahead of you. You can be optimistic as you have grasped the need to heal, the universe will honour your desire and meet you with the energy that you need. It might not come in the form you think or when you think you need it but trust the universe to deliver.
As for being at a crossroads, yes, take the first path you come across. There is an energy on the left hand side, which to me indicates a female energy, to guide you along this path.
The quagmire of reality that you speak of indicates to me an imbalance of a grounding nature. But, overall, I have the sense that you have come a very long way in a short space of time and if you read your posts on this thread, you might get the sense of how you have travelled.
Befriending the child self is a major topic and one many of us struggle with, difficult and abusive childhoods - or just marginally neglectful - hm again sacral chakra (= grounding). One of the things that I have been doing is looking at childhood memories (not many) and instead condemning myself through the memory is being kind and compassionate about my actions. Times that I was embarrassed or taunted or neglected or did something stupid - I look back and reassure myself about these things rather than looking back at my memories with exasperation. Slowly, the child is developing a confidence of her own. It's slow work. Don't think too harshly tho of your ma for not telling you she loved you - it wasn't the done thing in that era for many people to say such things and also she was on a complicated journey of her own.
Well lecture over and it wasn't meant to be a lecture but keep checking in here and in the meanwhile I send you light for a calm day tomorrow - fully aware that living in the humdrum of the world is a very spiritual activity!
|