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Thank you everybody, especially you Ciqala.
I want to do so much more! I feel almost as if I am caged. I want to do more but I don't know how. I feel stuck in a quagmire of this 'reality'. Worry about money and work when I think 65% of my brain is off on holiday somewhere dreaming about doing spiritual meaningful things :)
You talk about 'befriending your child self'. I regularly dream that I have to take charge of a child. This child is not ill or in need, it is just that no one else is there to care for it! Not always the same child, sometimes it is a toddler, sometimes more of a baby. And it is not hard to care for. Sometimes, it is more than one child. I thought that might mean encouraging my inner child!
As for loving myself. I find that very hard. I don't feel I am a bad person, actually I know I am not, but I measure my worth against the fact that I have so few friends, and that I don't ever remember my mother telling me she loved me, and my husband never loved me either.
But that is all now in my past. I really want to leave it behind.
I am just feeling a bit defeated at the moment, a little bit lost.
I think our world is incredibly beautiful and fragile and whenever I see images of it from space I am so moved. I think people, on the whole are amazing and I don't understand why so many people choose to focus on our differences when we have so much in common!
I believe in the collective consciousness for sure. And I believe that 'God' is love.
Hey I feel better, thanks :) I know I don't matter a bit! I just want to make a difference. I sometimes feel too lonely and sorry for myself. I think I have lost direction lately. Maybe I have come to a crossroads :)
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