|
Demonic Feeling
First off, I would like to mention that I am not spiritual, not the slightest bit religious and I would like to think of myself as a rational person.
I came to this site because I think the spiritual community might have an answer or a similar experience to mine.
To the point:
At times I experience a feeling or an emotion which I can only classify as demonic.
A mix between rage and grand satisfaction, a lot of both, it makes me feel alive, in fact in its presence is the only time I feel truly alive.
Fear and insecurities disappear and I feel like I could do anything, I feel powerful yet I am the same, cruelty empowers me, especially cruel people, I want to break them and their will, though I have never done so, just thinking about it is an euphoria.
It is the single greatest emotion I have ever felt, in its absence everything is dull and tasteless, even music doesn't sound the same.
At some point I started calling it "The Demon", even though it sounds idiotic, I truly don't know how else to classify it.
Has anyone else had a similar experience, rage, satisfaction, cruelty, a feeling that is truly better than sex, feeling as a hunter amongst sheep, and if there are others, is it possible to make it more permanent, without it I just feel empty...
|