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I feel your pain, all of you. It is sad to be loved like this only in spirit and never in body, isn't it? The body too is as sacred as anything else..it is the spirit made flesh. It is the house of the soul. For those who have met their twin and are currently in a relationship, it must be a measure of affirmation beyond all measure. To be honoured as spirit and as body by your other half...what an amazing and beautiful thing, to be truly accepted and fully loved, just as you are.
What I know from the ground up is that our body has a Godliness, a temporal Godliness, just as much as the eternal spirit...and the body cries out to be loved with the physical senses as well as the spiritual ones. I am not speaking of lust or urges. I am speaking of love. The body speaks with an ancient intelligence that says...you too ARE worthy of a love that is whole. In this lifetime. In the place. And in this moment. To be touched and held with love.
For many of us, it seems there are boundaries even if the other is not in a relationship. Perhaps the other will grow to see that the boundaries, like all separation, are in fact illusory and nonexistent...they only appear to be real or substantial. But perhaps they will not learn this lesson in this lifetime. And while we can give love, and forgiveness, and acceptance...always, always...we cannot put our lives on hold forever. I don't care if I'm alone or apart, in and of itself. But I am tired of the rejection, I'm tired of the cycles of mourning. It seems the connection is always there. But I would rather provide general love and support from a more impersonal standpoint than continue to suffer repeated loss and rejection.
There is nothing wrong with saying I would rather have a good friend, maybe even a true soul mate who is not my twin soul but who cares about me and talks to me in the real world, even if we may have some misunderstanding from time to time...than a twin soul who can always be counted on to love me in spirit but whose actions say he is conflicted by day. Or to be utterly confused as to which is more important in my life...my own inner peace and acceptance and appreciating friendship, or the lessons of constantly having to reconcile total love of my soul as spirit with total rejection of this same love in my daily physical existence. Really I am leaning toward the former. How much pain do we want to willingly continue to suffer?
Is there anyone else who understands me?
Peace,
7L
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