1) When the boogie man goes to bed, he looks underneath his to make sure Chuck Norris isn't underneath it
2) When Chuck Norris goes swimming, he doesn't get wet, water gets Chuck Norris
3) Chuck Norris once round house kicked a man so hard his shoe flew off his foot broke through the space-time continuum and hit Amelia Earhart as she was flying over the Pacific ocean.
4) Chuck Norris CAN divide by zero
5) Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.