Originally Posted by Ankhesenamun

Hey this is the thread for me! Describes exactly what I am going through!

I know I got a twin flame/soul mate because in a previous lifetime I was married to him. But I think he has not been reincarnated because I have not met him in this lifetime.

I have had telepathic conversations with him and I had many dreams about him. By dreams I actually mean visions, or even astral visits to the spirit world because I was in his presence during these occurrences.

We had a very strong love for each other during my past life. This love is so strong in fact that it is enduring even now.

Despite this I always wanted to find someone in this lifetime. Someone to be with, to find love with, to have a loving relationship with. I never found it. I have never had a relationship, nobody has ever been interested in me, and I am in my forties. I have never even been on a date, nobody has ever asked me out, shown signs of interest, or anything. And - without wanting to come across as conceited - I am attractive, intelligent, very affectionate and genuinely care about people. Everybody I know is absolutely baffled by this. People tell me I must have admirers lining up - but no, nobody has ever shown the slightest bit of interest. On the contrary, I have always been told that I am "not good enough" as a girlfriend or wife. It is definitely not by choice that I am single.

I think by now it's obvious that I am not going to meet someone but have for some reason been condemned to a lifetime of being alone.

Last year I met a guy who I really like. I saw him a few times but then never again and I have no way of getting in contact with him. I had the impression he kind of liked me but he was too shy to say something. On the other hand he made it clear that I was not good enough for him either because he said I should "join dating sites" and he mentioned this dating thing called Tinder. When I told him such things are nowadays mainly used by people who want one night stands and that Tinder is known to be for one night stands, he said "oh I have to join it then". I had the feeling he was telling me that I was not good enough and that he was telling me to go on dating sites because that's where all the desperate and undateable people go.

I now keep dreaming about this guy though, and I also get the 11:11 phenomenon. I never used to believe in the repeating numbers phenomenon but I'm being inundated with them now, mainly 11:11 and 1:11, but occasionally also 222, 333, and 444.

I'm not sure whether that means this guy is my twin flame or what is going on but circumstances are such that I now have absolutely no chance of seeing him by coincidence somewhere.

I always thought there would be someone for me but apparently there isn't and at my age I have to face reality. Some people ridicule me now for always being single and I get told I should just lump it. Nice!

I've certainly lost count how many times I've been told that I am "not good enough". For the last thirty years, ie since my early teens, I've been told that. I could just as well record the sentence "you are not good enough" and play it again and again, it would save everybody their breath! I get told this so frequently that it's predictable by now - I only need to be in the presence of a man (which is rare enough) and I hear this sentence, either directly or indirectly - and more often than not by way of threats.

I'm not the type to happily be alone and single, I would absolutely wish for someone to love, and to receive love, I wish for someone I can trust, someone who shares the good and the bad times with me. Apparently for me that's too much to ask. People think I'm this career girl that chooses to stay single - nothing could be further from the truth. People who I deal with over the phone, ie people who don't know me, assume that I am just another fat depressed middle aged woman. In reality, I am neither fat nor depressed and certainly not middle aged.

There is something very bizarre going on but something is preventing me from finding love and from finding my twin flame.