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Originally Posted by Lightseer
But you are online having 'spiritual conversations' yourself!
Why would you assume people who shop online want to kill people and are more likely to be violent? Surely those types would be more likely to go to physical shopping places to cause trouble? Also, not sure if you realise but genocidal means to want to destroy and kill by race or ethnic group.
And what about disabled, sick and elderly who shop etc. online?
But surely if more people do stuff online that means less queues and surely then you would want that?
A truly spiritual person should seek to bring equality to all beings, not create more division and inequality. If you can afford to throw away $10 that is okay for you (you can't say you "wouldn't mind" paying $10 to jump a queue if it really was "out of your budget") but what about the 80% plus in the world who live in poverty, including hundreds of millions in the USA alone who rely on food banks etc.
The next time you're in that situation talk to the people in the queue. I find that people are mostly fair and if you just talk to them it can mostly be sorted out. Also, the person serving knows who was there and who wasn't five minutes before so just speak up for yourself and you'll be fine. Just do it is a way that isn't confrontational. One problem you might be having (from what you have written) seems to be that you assume confrontation and so you put out all the body language and tone of voice that makes people assume you are "up for it" and then they will start on you.
I've never had anything like the problems you describe and I've been in plenty of places with tension, long waits, long queues and similar.
Often we get what we project and you should consider projecting peaceful respect instead of confrontation. Try it!  |
Do I really come across as defensive and confrontational?
I guess a lot of it has to do with the fact I am on the Autism spectrum and I totally lack any "theory of mind".
Maybe some of it has to do with the fact I had a narcissistic, psychotic, serial pedophile for a father who is now rotting the rest of his life away in jail...and I was one of his victims.
I guess a lot of it has to do with the fact I was raised by a borderline schizophrenic mother who was active in the White Supremacist/Neo Nazi movement.
I guess a lot of it has to do with the fact I have spent the past 20 years living like a agoraphobic hermit in my own home because I lack ANY social skills whatsoever (and have severe developmental delays when it comes to learning them).
I guess that I have spent the best part of the past 10 years meditating and focusing wholly on God, simply because I had nothing better to do and nobody else to talk to...except for during the past three years when I reached out online and found this forum.
I guess that part of it has to do with the fact my own child abandoned me some 15 years ago with " you're totally insane and I'm outta here" and I haven't heard from her since.
...and I guess that these new meds the doctor has put me on for PTSD is having many unwanted side effects like paranoia, irritability, hallucinations and obsessive thinking.
I also guess that raising my Kundalini two years ago through meditation and God worship, leading to a whole host of neurological disorders in addition to the bliss of Nirvana/Samadhi, just put the whole sweet icing on the s***-cake.
Now you may understand...come at me. (as a matter of speech in a non confrontational way).