A good starting point for understanding is to find the cause that prompted these things that scare you ...

Highlighted in red is a statement shared by everyone w/cathected loved ones ...
I don't believe there is a soul on earth that is perfectly equipped to be a survivor of the death of a soulmate ...
The mind, body & soul automatically go into shock & survival mode upon their death ...
The reality of their death is slowly processed during grief for good reason; it allows the mind, body & soul time to absorb the impact & reality ...
Grief is more than just crying &/or as ignorant people view it "feeling sorry for one's self" --- it's a major transition ...
Death changes a person from being a talking head full of logic & reason to a person who has delved deep into their soul to experience the ultimate physical loss of a cathected love one wandering for years to find themself as well as trying to find meaning & purpose in their death carrying gut wrenching pain as its catalyst to reconciliation & healing ...
Neither Esther (Weaver) Hicks motivational speaker of the Abraham Hicks "Law of Attraction" or Pastor Rick Warren author of "Purpose Driven Life" were prepared for the devastating effects of grief from the death of her father & his son ...
However, her strong faith aided in her recovery ...
Pastor Rick Warren's faith is at this time still be tested ...
How a person perceives reality is a choice; it will be confronted when their "darkest hour" is upon them for change, deapth of meaning & purpose ...
If you choose to simply believe in reincarnation while continuing to live your life that is perfectly fine ...
The key is to not allow your fears to run you life ...