[Spirit Guide Sparrow]

Originally Posted by Tiss

After your last response I feel a little shy to share my recent story but it is necessary for me to see how to apply your last orientation about making my skills flourish. This is less conceptual than what we usually exchange here. Forgive me for that, but I feel at home in this thread and I actually need some light to find my way forward.

I am at the present in a big trouble. Sparrow guided me all these years in SP, after the man I loved unconditionally passed. With each of his words, with each guidance I first discovered and then consolidated my spiritual path. It was not easy...During the process, I lost all ability to enjoy life in human ways and also to bring love to my life, as I said here in a previous post

Dear Tiss,

I thank you for your patience in my absence.

It is with great courage that you have brought this forward to light in response to such difficult circumstance. I can only hope to bring forward a response composing such equal merit.

In respect of this situation you have much to think about, which in itself adds to your confusion, for your mind only contributes to such confusion with conflicting messages. You become at risk of and victim to your own criticism and condemnation for not only the handling of the situation but your inability to resolve it successfully. This psychological quicksand can quickly suck you into a perpetual state of self-sabotage where you can become prisoner to your own mind. In light of this, it would be wise not to get too entangled into the mind where you are over-thinking everything.

Grant yourself the right of compassion to exercise the freedom to make mistakes and bad choices. It is the way you continue forward which is important and your ability to regain your balance and focus.

In terms of resolving your situation you are going to want to address three key points:

What is best for you.
In terms of nurturing your own personal needs and aspiring closer towards your own personal values and aspirations, consider what would ultimately be best for you in your situation. It is not a selfish act to have your own best interests and wellbeing at heart. Without understanding what is best for you there is no possibility for any other relationship to last.

What is best for the relationship.
In terms of what the needs are of both yourself and the other individual, consider what is best for the relationship (if one will continue to exist) which would allow both individuals to nurture both their individual needs, without compromising the personal values of either. Any relationship that lasts is built on mutual sustainability to allow both individuals needs to be explored without compromising mutual values. Any relationship built on the basis of continual dependence is a relationship doomed down a road of perils and pitfalls. The greatest relationships are those where each need not each other, but where they come together to share the experience of what they have already found within themselves.

What is best for the future.
In terms of what both individuals visualise as their aspired future, any relationship you enter must be compatible with this vision. This vision should not solely be based on any one relationship, as all relationships are, in their very nature, subject to change and altered direction. You should always be open to new possibilities of new relationships which ultimately take you closer to your desired future, and not bound or blinded by existing relationships that limit opportunity.

Originally Posted by Tiss

During the trip and shortly after, I began to notice some behaviors that I did not like, actually not so very relevant things, but very outside of my style. It affected me. He was a little obsessed with social networks and I found out that he allowed badly spoken women to tell him nasty words. Moreover, he seemed to be funny with that. When I found out that, I got very angry and rather than talking with him, I broke the relation in a childish way, via WhatsApp and blocked him.

In entering any relationship of any nature you are going to have to confront all aspects of what exists as part of their lives. Eventually, as relationships progress, this also includes less attractive traits. Everyone has them. Everyone has something about themselves or does something which can cause discomfort or disapproval in another. But in your wisdom know that what you personally perceive as unattractive and undesirable will to someone or something else appear the opposite. The universe must have balance for all possibilities to exist. It may be someone is attracted to a particular behaviour or activity at a specific time in their life which fulfils a specific need they have at that time. It is not for you to judge them for their pursuit of their needs in the form through which they fulfil it, but in your wisdom aspire to offer them alternate ways to fulfil it.

Originally Posted by Tiss

At the present, he refuses to speak to me at all, despite my requests. I sent and email eight days ago with no response.

When you are dealing with a tornado of emotion, it is often better to give in to patience than persuasion; you can make more headway under weaker winds than a treacherous tornado. You are less likely to persuade a tornado to alter its course than winds subsided through patience.

Originally Posted by Tiss

I am in a big pain because of several things: my lack of ability to handle the situation, I don't want to be hated by him (my love for him remains intact), the many good memories of all that beautiful things we shared, and not knowing what to do improve the situation.

You cannot improve a relationship without the element of communication. Whether this is done through word or by action. If communication is not wanted, it must be enough to leave it apparent you are presently open to it. This can be achieved, perhaps in this modern day of technology and social media, as a form of status message indicating such desire to receive communication. If the relationship is founded on strong connections communication will eventually resume.

Originally Posted by Tiss

I ask to myself and to the universe, why to me? what's the reason and the purpose of this? what should I have to learn?

Not everything is a lesson for you to learn. It can also be the lesson is for someone else. Some events may merely be part of a process to deliver you somewhere else. If you wish to learn something from it, then so be it. If something you experience is unpleasant, then change how you interact with it.

-Sparrow