(I've just seen your reply now, Cosmical)

Yes, you mentioned about being cynical and not getting your hopes up - that does not sound like someone putting their energy into (and in alignment with) what they want.

What is it you want? Find the aspects of it that delight you. Don't be scared of it, don't be scared of it not happening. Work through any fears that you have, so that you are left with the pure and beautiful emotions of what feels good, then build those. Think about those regularly and work on building them further. Find more and more what you love about what you want. And don't just 'think' what you want, 'feel' it.