[Within Silence]

Hi, this is my first post. I may not need to post another. I am a taoist. Not because I sought it out, but because I already understood most its principles so when i learned about it, i realized, "ahhh this is the word for the things i already know" Let me star by saying, I also am a Taoist at heart. I have studied much Taoist thought over several years. I also have been caught in the trap of "not doing" and then realized that I was not completely understanding the wisdom in the concept. Let's see if I may be able to help.

so a little about me. In saying this I am opening up and being vulnerable. This is a good thing

the dilemma is my situation. You are correct, it is YOUR situation, thus no one can fix it but you. You hold Tao in the palm of your hand, you are the Tao and Tao is you.

I am 49. I live alone, never married, no kids, i have no friends, no family, no income(i am on a VERY small pension) I am unable to work certain jobs for health reasons, and what i have done before, I hated, or learned that ego is what drove me. I have no real fulfilling path in life. and its painful, i accept it being painful but it still is. Ego cannot drive us because ego is an illusion, its an idea/thought of who we think we are, a pseudo identity, thus there is nothing to prevent us from doing what we enjoy.


The tao suggests, that I do NOTHING. literally. so I am doing by not doing for the first time in my life i am just being. Tao does not suggest doing nothing literally, what its saying is to do or do not, do not over do what does not need to be done, do not contend with yourself over what you "should" or "shouldn't do", do not be conflicted with yourself, just flow with the Way of life, flow with Tao not against it. Drop the doer part and get lost in the doing, in the enjoyment of doing what you're doing. In other words, loose yourself in whatever you're doing. Obviously we must do things in life so we cannot do nothing literally. Like the Tao state; "Do your work (its obviously telling us to do something) and then step back, the only path to serenity"

I could DO something, IF I knew what that thing is that would fulfill me, but thats the problem. I do not know yet. There is but one way to find out what that thing is that will fulfill us, and that is to continue to do things. Actually fulfillment is in the doing, in the journey of doing things, in participation with Tao/Life. When we resist Tao/life then we are unfulfilled. Drop the resistance and begin doing things. And actually to do things is to drop resistance, to not do thing s is resistance, thus all one need do is begin to do things and resistance drops away automatically.
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So, Its checkmate- I know that I must do no-thing, yet I desire to do something, but that something is ego driven and because i know this- I do not want to do anything (yet). this state i am in is NOT fulfilling. it is empty. It is not checkmate yet, unless you say it is, thus if you believe its checkmate then for you it shall be, as you are creating your own reality. This is how powerful you are! Remember, Tao is you and you are Tao.

So what now? live a life of doing nothing? which seems now almost less fulfilling than when i lived with ego. I guess my worry is, nothing will be the only things that ever happens. You life is what you make of it, what do YOU want?" Then go and do it, and drop all this ego/desire/checkmate stuff, just drop it and go enjoy your life.

all things change, but thats not entirely true, a mans spine cannot be repaired. or a person cannot grow taller. some people never marry. some never find thier true path. You are correct in this statement, so now what? What do YOU want to do with your life?

but what is there to do now? I desire nothing. Above you said "yet I desire to do something" now here you said; "I desire nothing" so which is it? Do you see the conflict here? It seems from your post that you do desire and there is nothing wrong with that, so what's the problem?

I want to desire.
so i can have a fulfilling journey doing something I love, not something based on ego. but I have no insight as to what it might be. You do desire, we cannot help it, its the way we're wired. Some people try not to desire, which is the desire to not desire, hence we cannot get out of desire. So, just begin doing what makes you feel good inside, there must be something. Cooking, coloring, writing, speaking, playing games, music, pets, reading, watching your favorite movies, and on and on and on it goes, this world has so much to offer, boredom is a choice.

and Ive been trying for years to find it. but to no avail. its so confusing and painful. I accept it, but it does not make it any easier. I wonder if maybe there just is nothing for me and this is a good as it gets, why does only nothing keep happening? Pain is the result of repression, of resistance, if you truly accepted it there would not be pain, so perhaps you do not accept it and rightfully so in my opinion, so why not use the pain as a catalyst to move beyond it. In other words, instead of just accepting it and saying there is nothing for me, go out and do something, stop trying to "figure out the perfect thing to do" and just go do what you like to do. Drop the whole ego thing, drop all limitations, drop worrying about if its right or wrong and go do something. As long as its not harmful to you or anyone else of course, but I think you know what I mean.

Here is an article about the concept of not doing. I hope you enjoy it.

Wuwei or non-doing is not just about doing nothing

wuwei
Wuwei is a Chinese word, written as 无为in simplified Chinese, and 無為 in traditional Chinese.

It is a key concept of Taoism, and the central theme of Lao Tzu’s Tao Te Ching. Not knowing its true meaning risk missing the wisdom.

The word may be literally translated as ‘doing nothing’, or ‘non-doing’. “The Tao does nothing, yet leaves nothing undone” is one of the well known phrases in the book.

Many people intuitively interpret ‘doing nothing’ as something passive, laid back or negative. This is not wrong as far as the literal meaning of the word is concerned. In the context of Tao, however, it misses something really fundamental.

In the eyes of Tao, if no action is needed based on the laws of nature, doing anything is overdoing. The action however insignificant can do you more harm than good.

For example, if you are growing a plant, having given it the right conditions from the sunlight and the fertilizer to the water, leave it alone! This is the best way to ensure the growth of the plant.

In this instance, doing nothing is doing something.

This is wuwei, or non-doing.

Wuwei does not always involve doing ‘nothing’. Just like growing a plant. You do not do absolutely nothing. Watering the plant, for instance, is doing something. The key point is you should not water too much or too little. Doing it just right! In this case, without excessive or wasted effort is practicing the art of non-doing.

It applies to everything we do if life. If we can let nature take its course, things get done. If we go against it, little — or nothing — gets done, no matter how hard we try.

Doing nothing or doing less, however, is not as easy as it sounds. Those who have tried meditation would probably have experienced the challenge of sitting still and thinking about nothing. Many people simply cannot do that. This happens to other aspects of life as well. Many problems we face often arise because we tend to do too much, rather than do too little. We tend to eat too much, talk too much, worry too much or interfere too much.

How to do less — or not to do something — is an art. It is often an arduous challenge.

Mastering the art of non-doing would enable us to get more things done in life, without putting in more effort.