Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Disneystace
Sorry this is going to be a little bit emotional, I really need some information.
Today a dog has been put to sleep who I was very close to but really love. I was working as a dog carer and ended up looking after a dog for around a year, the dog virtually lived with us, and in my eyes he became my dog. He was my companion, I was going through a rough time and he was there, the beautiful boy that he was, just to give me a cuddle as I cried, to keep me company. He and I were always together.
His owner took him back to have a family member take care of him. This was 10 months ago and I was just getting over it when his owner asked if I could have him for a weekend, I jumped at the opportunity, but he took a disliking to the dog I bought myself- i bought a dog who was the same breed and colour. So the next I heard was the beginning of this week, the dog was unwell and it was looking likely he might need to be put to sleep. I made plans to go today.
I arrived and he was in a bad way. I went and sat with him, he got onto his feet to move his head to be closer with me, away from his owner and collapsed again. He was tired, he looked so worn down, so scared. I was sat with him, talking about memories, about him, how his life has changed since having the family member take care of him, whilst crying and stroking him, I gave him some kisses, he licked me numerous times. I made small talk with him. I told him I loved him.
It came to the point where we went to the vets for him to be put to sleep.
I didn’t say goodbye, it all happened so quickly. It happened too quick for me to say goodbye. I went out with his owner to comfort him because his wife wanted to be with the dog when he was Put to sleep. I feel awful for this. I didn’t say goodbye to him but I loved him so much.
When the wife came out I said I needed to go in and see him, I gave him a kiss and a quick stroke but couldn’t say anything because o was too cut up. I didn’t want to have a panic attack and look pathetic but I loved him so so much.
Please, can anyone tell me if he will know how much I loved him?
Will he know that I wanted to say goodbye and that was my whole reason for visiting despite the fact I never said the words?
I feel like I really let him down.
Will he visit me in the after life? He wasn’t my dog but I loved him so much and I feel tremendous guilt. I feel like He would have felt like I wasn’t there, or I didn’t care about him. I haven’t stopped crying since about 10 o’clock this morning.
I’ve never had anyone close to me due, and it feels really unfair that he is gone, I feel like we were closer than I’ve ever been to a human being. He was there last year when my husband and I split up, he was there when I was evicted. I got concussion last year, he laid with me the whole time I had to spend taking it easy and recovering. He was protective of us when I found a new house and it was just me and my daughter. He was the most wonderful companion.
He is no longer in pain, which I’m happy about, he looked so unlike his usual self today. But I feel like I let him down, and I’m in pieces about the fact he’s gone.
I don’t know what answers I can get, but I would greatly appreciate anything. I’m desperate for some hope that he will know just how much I loved him and that I was there for him- I feel like I failed him today. My ultimate hope is someone will tell me there’s a possibility he will “visit” sometimez, or even that there’s something after this life that he would find enjoyable because the past few weeks would have been awful for him.
Thank you to anyone who read this far. I’m really in pieces. I loved him, he wasn’t mine but I loved him so much.
I feel pathetic being in such a state about someone else’s dog, but it’s hpw I feel.
|
I am so sorry you lost a really good dog and a dear friend indeed.
Yes, they live on and have full consciousness in the afterlife, are aware, have memory of loved ones. never forget someone they love, and yes they do sometimes visit.
So if you sense his character and his love from time to time, don't be surprised. Raise up all the love you have for him in your heart and thoughts and send it out his way. He will know, and will no doubt respond, So listen inside your feelings, for him.
There is no "owner" of another Soul. There are only the ones that Soul loves and with whom he has a bond of friendship and love. It makes no difference if you were the "owner" of him or not for him to love you in this life and beyond it.
You had a purpose in knowing each other and being friends, even if you couldn't spend his whole lifetime together.
And don't worry about "not saying goodbye". Leaving the body permanently is not really a goodbye anyway. The fact that you were not physically in the same room where he took his last breath here would have made no difference to his connection with you....and it is even possible he was around you for a little while after he left his body!
As you were grieving so hard you probably wouldn't have known or noticed him. But don't worry. Love goes on!
Bless his Soul. And yours for loving him.
