[Deusdrum]

My dog was put down this afternoon. He was my best friend. When i was in highschool and the entire world at one point had turned their back on me, he was the one at my lowest and lonliest point that walked in the room and licked me on the hand and was their for me.

He was the kindest, most beautiful dog i have ever known. I never realized for a time today how deeply my emotions ran when on the way to the vet. I had a hard time keeping it together, and that never happens to me. I cry the odd time, but i can keep it together in public without any problem. Today i had a hard time doing so. However, just before we went in for our final pats, and to see him off, i went sort of cold or numb, and that bothers me. I wish i could have let him see how much i cared about him in that room when i said goodbye.

But this is not about me.

I'll miss you Murph. You were my best friend. I hope you know how much i loved and still love you. I'm sorry i wasn't better to you sometimes. I should have spent more time with you lately, and shown you more love lately. I know you are in a better place. I will never forget you. .~*