View Single Post
Old 17-09-2015, 11:20 PM
Tobi Tobi is offline
Super Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 6,557
  Tobi's Avatar
Originally Posted by Kensei
Dear SF,

You might rember my earlier writings a couple of weeks ago. A thread about the sudden loss of the person I believe to be my soulmate, the Love of my Life. The week after the accident there where many `signs` like fire alarm randomly goes off (and stops), dropping objects, strong feeling of a presence, light flickering etc.

Now a couple weeks have passed, seven to be exact. And I got to admit that it has been silent since the day of the funeral. There have been no more `clear` signs. (Or I am just missing them?) I do have a lot of dreams involving her, but none that seem to carry a deep hidden message so far. I do swear hear her voice at times spooking through my mind, like she is communicating with me on a different level. And get these random flashbacks of memories we shared together.

I am sad and worried about all of this in truth of this absence. I still do my best to write and spend time in thoughts with her, go to her grave, spend time with family and friends.

I am just not sure what to think of all this or if this is a normal process?
-Am I blocking myself in the connection with her through emotion-overthinking
-Is she moved on to better things (without me?)

These are just dark doubts rushing through my mind. I wish could just talk with her like we used too, get all this sorted out.

Looking for tips and personal experiences dealing with this and how to improve our relationship from this situation.

Feel very alone in this, but there must be more on SF with good insight.


Dear Kensei,
My heart-felt kindest thoughts to you. You sound as if you are being very brave under the circumstances, and have a lovely attitude to your beloved in spirit.

I also have a very dear one who passed over, so may be able to offer some words which might help you.

It is a normal process, yes. But for us 'stuck down here', the processes of spirit, and the apparent separation from our loved ones can be very hard to get through.
You will be feeling some kind of grieving. That is natural. You are not a robot. There are some who say the grieving process blocks contact with loved ones....but I disagree partly. It can do, if the grieving is heavy, self-centered, hopeless, despairing, and brings out the 'worst' in you. But if your grieving has a quality of deepest love about it, and tears shed have a heart-felt quality, then even that can help you attune your love.

They have to go -in a sense. They have to move into their true state of Being which is a natural thing to happen. It is a healthy and good thing to do that.
But what happens when they 'get there' is their love arrives at a much better vantage-point. No, they don't forget us, and no they don't move on and find something better....but they do certainly have things to do there.
At the same time, because of the better vantage-point they achieve, they also see that with love there never really is any separation.
They can come and visit us. They can attune their love and thoughts to us, and often do.
But also they have other missions to do.

Their visits to us become finer, and not so many 'bells and whistles' (phenomena) attached. A sudden sense of their character, and a wash of love in the heart, can signal their presence out of the blue, at any time of night or day. And usually, there is so much sweetness, peace and happiness attached when we sense them. But the feeling is very heart-centered.
They will be less likely to be moving things around, affecting electricity, dropping feathers about....and all those kinds of things. However -that doesn't mean they can't! Or never will! Anything could happen.

And yes, sometimes they feel very distant and far away, and that can feel scary -like they have left. But it really isn't that way, because if you are patient, kind, understanding, and above all, hold them in your love often, they will come back when they can.
And when they can't....they most want us to hold onto the love, and trust in it, and also get on with our lives with as much grace as possible.

Love -believe me -is never forgotten.
Reply With Quote