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Originally Posted by S.Daughter
This is my first ever step into this sort of forum. I've been playing around with with the idea of reaching out for awhile now, I believe i'm finally old enough to listen. So please excuse the naivety and sometimes wording.
I'm tired; I feel like i'm having a silent battle within. Me vs. Me and i'm splitting into two; to put it blatantly. I have "quirks" that i'm sure aren't from this version of me, or well that don't fit into this life. I feel as if my past is poisoning the present because those Quirks aren't nice. I see everything from all perspectives and think to much, I don't feel like I have my own opinion. I'm starting to feel like no-one, and everyone. I'm not quite sure what i'm asking; advice, understanding, maybe? I don't want stop it, I just want to know how to filter it, because after all; it is a part of me.
Maybe i'm even in the wrong place, but like most Humans I want to fit in somewhere and label it. I'm sorry if this makes no sense, it's kind of hard to pull a tennis ball out of a tornado.
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It could very well be that these quirks you speak of are undesirable parts of your self-life -- and you are more spiritually evolved in many other ways now, so they are in conflict with your spiritual side as they lay dormant within you. Every once in a while they crop up- reminding you that they are a part of you and in a way, it is permitted so as to keep you spiritually humble-- to know that you are in constant need of Divine Grace and spiritual growth-- to keep you grounded so you never look down on anyone- and know that you are dust- (as all of us are)
Eventually these quirks will be no longer as you continue to grow and get more aligned with the Creator- but for now, they are permitted for your highest spiritual good.