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Hi,
thanks :)
No the initial reason we weren't together was because I pushed him away. We never had an actual relationship which makes it even more difficult...Basically we met and he was all in in the beginning and I acted very aloof because I guess I was just a stupid 21 year old who was comfortable not having feelings to anyone. I realized I loved him one night or not that I loved him but that all the emotions I was freaking out over WAS love. And then he acted aloof and it was a merry go round of that for 7 months, we just talked for like 5 months and didn't see each other. Then I felt like we had gotten to a solid, trusting point and he bailed on visiting me at college one weekend. It's a 45 minute drive away from him and I was extremely angry and frustrated and just hurt. I got drunk one night and told him I was seeing someone else, didn't need a texting buddy and goodbye. He never responded to it. I was a mess after that.
6 months later with zero contact is when I looked him up and found a separate music facebook account where I found this poem about him being really heartbroken and me changing him and he'd never be the same. It gave me hope.
he didn't start seeing this girl until like 6-7 months ago after all that. It was time for him to move on I guess. He started reaching out to me before they even broke up through snapchat funnily enough. He reached out on march 6, a year to the day of the last time we spoke. I guess we were both thinking about each other.
He tried messaging me a lot through there but I acted really uninterested bc he went about it so casually. He and his gf got back together after a month. He unfriended me and I was really angry with myself for being aloof again so I reached out to him and he responded even though I saw they were together again. It was stupid of me to ignore that fact but I didn't care. He was the one to ask me out and to tell me he never thought I really cared about him. He suggested we catch up over some drinks. He acted really shady with all of this which saddens me too. Like how he went about certain things obviously was stupid.
Everyone keeps telling me different things and the fact that we spent such little time together makes it a little strange even for me. Some friends tell me he is scared and being a coward, others tell me he was just looking to score. Deep down I know it was more than that and I don't know how much he could love that poor girl if he strayed so easily from her but it doesn't matter bc he ran back to her and is kissing her butt now, even though she dumped him and reluctantly took him back.
I know this was long winded!
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