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Originally Posted by crunchydorito
Thank you for your advice. It is true grounding resonates. Anyone would help with a good source on how to ground? I am self prescribing adhd meds as well as Benzodiazepines. Ive stood up to my mom, 26 years of Gaslighting. I was sent to jail and now i have misdemeanor charges. Ive held 32 full time jobs in 3 industries all entry level. I am unable to keep employment because of adhd and recently since the arrest i may have ptsd because of what happend with mom. I had no clue all this was going on. I am in despair. My city charges 160$ for one psychiatric session. I get Vyvanse from MX at 56 bucks for. 28 day supply. I am currently crossing the border into MX every day as I am unable to stay with mom as she also filed a protective order, which is absurd because i am not violent or aggressive.
I am very tired I really want to leave leave. I feel everything and everyone just like you have mentioned below exactly thats how people react and the description you gave is accurate.
Im very afraid as I keep sending out bad vibes all the time and people arr reacting. My anxiety kicks in the ptsd kicks in and i end up self sabotaging as i blame myslef every time someone senses me or the bad vibes i sent like i blame myself and people pick that up and i end up taking it in.
I am looking for employment not so much to eat or to cross the border now its for meds. I cannot take this anymore. No friends or anyone to talk to about this because no one believes what you guys understand.
What can I do?? I am also very afraid of cops and the courts and the royals the sociopaths and doctors i always think they will attack me because I think im important somehow and believe that since i am helping this world with my energy they won’t like this and will do something to me to retaliate.
I am in great despair. Ive prayed this go away. Ive talked to the universe so this be taken away, ive meditated and have asked to end my contract or whatever i got going on here and things get worse! My abilities keep going up. Now an Octarine shift?? From indigo to Octarine??
Whoever gave me this.... how em I suppose to do all this and expect me to survive ***? Shouldn’t we get divne help as well?? It does sound bad but how is this possible all at once? I cant take this. I am sitting inside my car with no gas in a park close to where i used to live from early morning sometimes all afternoon and evening untill 10 or 11 pm and i sneak inside to steal food and sometimes i spend the night right with my dear mother who i suspect is a sociopath.
I cant catch a break... no relationship at all. I have been a mess since i was born. I am really stuck here.
We are supposed to step away from toxic places toxic environments and yet the universe sends us fked up people toxic people to HELP??? ***??? Like ***?!
For free?? What is this?? Was i a bad person in a other lifetime and now i am paying for all this by playing Jesus here? I just dont understand at all. What do I do? I got no brothers and no sisters. My mother decided due to high pride that she would do the mother work without a man like she thought she could but she didn’t do great job i mean she was my biggest bulley in my life! What can i do? My mother would leave me in parks so she could work. Or with aunts and uncles. Where i was raped by a cousin at 10 and molested by an aunt. A few other hands by second cousins. Used and abused since a lil kid and im being used by the universe? ***??!
Why? Why is this going on. Should i really believe that i heard the call??
This is very outrageous. Yall should see my instagram i keep seeing 11:11 12:12 for the past fxking 4 years now! Pay attention to your thoughts, you will receive abundance, the universe is reaching out to you bla bla bla 4 years! Ive done exactly everything and i am worse now that I followed “my heart “ than I was when I didn’t care about any of this. I really dont care to help i dont want to be part of this anymore. What do i do? Just leave? And when i do take meds to find relief i feel so bad so guilty that i am not available to the universe or to god or whatever and i end up beating myself up psychologically I stop and do it all over again.
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Grounding is easy if you let it be. Dig a hole in the dirt, plant flowers or other plants, do the dishes and make your mind think only of the dishes. Grounding is putting your attention on where you are in the moment, pulling your mind out of the ethers or past or future and paying attention to what is now. It is not sustainable mentally, that is why you need dirt to dig, or dishes to wash or some other physical labor that brings you back into your body.
As for self prescribing medications, that is not going to help you. I suspect the adhd diagnosis is not correct. You need to get off the meds and find doctor to help you figure out what is really going on. Some of the behvior attributed to ADHD is actually stress and anxiety. Find a way to relieve those without medication and then you will be able to determine what your next step is.