Rayden, it is good that you have put this out to help people. I wish you well.
Have you actually trained in hypnosis? I got an advanced certificate a couple of years ago, although I don't practise commercially. I only use my skills to help friends and family.
I think it might help to work on your voice tonality. Personally, I found your voice going up and down a little distracting. It is best to go for a level, slow and soothing voice, IMHO. Also, it is normal for the countdown from 10 to 1 to be done much more slowly, with some sort of visualisation to help the deepening (e.g. going down a staircase).
Every best wish to you, as you develop your skills! I look forward to hearing your next audio.