Thanks for the detailed update Tess. Will check out that channel. I would call my experiences more a "delusional disorder" than "bipolar" though. 3 out of the 4 have led to my hospitalization. That last one I thought I was going crazy but managed to maintain my rationality while it went on and I thank this to my recent uptake of meditation for the past year.

I dont remember much of the details though largely because of the long term memory issues I have due to the anti-epileptic medication I've been on since childhood. But I will stay on this spiritual course. It started relatively recently(last 2 years) but has brought meaning to a largely purposeless life.