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Originally Posted by jimrich
There is a 'trick' to working with or sitting with someone in grief. It's basically about how to calm down and LET the Griever vent or express (cry, rage, laugh, etc). It takes guts to allow someone to have their feelings WITHOUT intruding by offering: tissues, advice, a lecture, talking, consoling, pats on their back, and subtly trying to STOP the Griever from VENTING. I've seen it over and over at sharing meetings when someone breaks down and starts weeping and it's happened A LOT to me!
Many people carry hidden emotional pains, so open expressions of painful feelings BOTHERS them who are secretly in pain and they will do whatever they can to STOP (fix) the weeping or grieving person.
Just sitting there and quietly LISTENING TO the Griever is good enough but very few can do that - not even some Counselors and Professionals! These "Professionals" seem to believe that it's their DUTY to "cheer up" a Griever but they are really just trying to protect their own unhealed grief from being TRIGGERED by the Griever!
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You're right...the tissue might be ok (or welcome!) but only if it's not intrusive. It is triggering.
And often ( not always but if they're ok with it), a gentle hand on the shoulder or even a hug is far better than anything we could say.
Peace & blessings
7L
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Bound by conventions, people tend to reach for what is easy.
Here we must be unafraid of what is difficult.
For all living beings in nature must unfold in their particular way
and become themselves despite all opposition.
-- Rainer Maria Rilke