[mystical]

i got tagged in this article from facebook , it may help you make sense of things .....

In this context I would like to say something about karmic relationships. By this I mean relationships between people who have known each other in other lifetimes and who have experienced intense emotions with regard to each other. The hallmark of a karmic relationship is that the partners carry unresolved emotions within such as guilt, fear, dependence, jealousy, anger or something of the kind. Because of this unresolved emotional charge, they feel drawn to each other in another incarnation. The aim of the renewed encounter is to provide an opportunity to resolve the issue at hand. This happens by recreating the same issue in a short period of time. When they first meet, the karmic “players” feel a compelling urge to get nearer to each other and after some time they start to repeat their old emotional role patterns. The stage has now been set to face the old issue anew and perhaps handle it in a more enlightened way. The spiritual purpose of the renewed encounter is for both partners to make other choices than they made during that former lifetime.
I am going to give an example here. Imagine a woman who, in a previous lifetime, had a husband who was quite possessive and bossy. For a while she accepted this but at a certain point she decided it was enough and she broke off the relationship. Afterwards the husband committed suicide. The woman felt remorse. She believed that she was guilty. Shouldn’t she have given him another chance? She carried this sense of guilt with her for the rest of her life.
In another lifetime they meet again. There is an odd attraction between them. At first, the man is exceptionally charming and she is the center of his attention. He adores her. They enter into a relationship. But from now on he becomes increasingly jealous and possessive. He suspects her of adultery. She finds herself in an inner struggle. She is angry and upset that he wrongly accuses her but she also feels a strange obligation to be forgiving and to give him another chance. He is a wounded man, she thinks; he cannot help it that he has this fear of being abandoned. Maybe I can help him get over this. She justifies her behavior in this way but in fact she allows her personal boundaries to be violated. The relationship negatively affects her self esteem.
The most liberating choice for the woman would now be to break off the relationship and go her own way without feelings of guilt. The pain and fear of the husband are not her responsibility. His pain and her sense of guilt have led to a destructive relationship. Their relationship was already emotionally charged because of another lifetime. The meaning of the renewed encounter is that the woman must learn to let things go without feelings of guilt and that the man must learn to stand on his own feet emotionally. So the only real solution is to break off the relationship. The solution for the woman’s karma is to let go of her sense of guilt once and for all. The mistake she made in her former lifetime was not that she abandoned her husband but that she felt responsible for his suicide. The departure of his wife in this lifetime would confront the husband again with his own pain and fear and it would offer him a new opportunity to face these emotions instead of escaping them.
You may recognize a karmic encounter by the fact that the other person immediately feels strangely familiar to you. Quite often there also is a mutual attraction, something compelling in the air which urges you to be together and to discover each other. If the opportunity is available, this strong attraction may grow into a love relationship or a heavy infatuation. The emotions you experience may be so overwhelming that you think you have met your twin soul. However things are not as they seem. In such a relationship there will always be problems which sooner or later will surface. Often the partners become involved in a psychological conflict that has power, control and dependence as the main ingredients. By this they repeat a tragedy which they subconsciously recognize from a former lifetime. In a past life they could have been lovers, parent and child, boss and subordinate, or some another type of relationship. But always they touched a deep inner pain in each other by acts of unfaithfulness, abuse of power or, by contrast, too strong an affection. There was a profound encounter between them which caused deep scars and emotional trauma. That is why the forces of attraction as well as repulsion can be so violent when they meet again in a new incarnation.
The spiritual invitation to all souls who are energetically entangled in such a way is let each other go and become “entities-unto-themselves,” free and independent. Karmic relationships as mentioned here are almost never long-term, stable, loving relationships. They are destructive rather than healing relationships. Quite often the basic purpose of the encounter is to succeed in letting each other go. This is something that could not be done in one or more past lifetimes but now there is another opportunity to release each other in love.
If you find yourself in a relationship that is characterized by intense emotions, that evokes a lot of pain and grief but from which you cannot break free, please realize that nothing obligates you to stay with the other person. Also do realize that intense emotions more often refer to deep pain rather than to mutual love. The energy of love is essentially calm and peaceful, light-hearted and inspiring. It is not heavy, exhausting and tragic. If a relationship gets these traits, it is time to let it go rather than “work on it” once again.
Sometimes you convince yourselves that you have to stay together because you “share karma” and you have “to work things out together.” You call upon the nature of karma as an argument for prolonging the relationship, while you are both suffering immensely. In fact you are distorting the concept of karma here. You do not work out karma together; karma is an individual thing. The karma at stake in such relationships as mentioned before often requires that you let go completely, that you withdraw from such a relationship in order to experience that you are whole unto yourself. Again, resolving karma is something you do on your own. Another person may touch or trigger something inside you that creates a lot of drama between you. But it remains your sole task and challenge to deal with your own inner hurt, not with the other person’s issues. You only have responsibility for yourself.
This is important to realize because it is one of the main pitfalls in relationships. You are not responsible for your mate and your mate is not responsible for you. The solution to your problems does not lie in the behavior of the other person. Sometimes you are so connected to the inner child of your partner, the emotionally hurt part inside, that you feel you are the one to “rescue” it. Or your partner may be trying the same with you. But this is not going to work. You will be reinforcing emotions of powerlessness and victimhood in the other person, whereas it would be more helpful ultimately if you drew the line and stood up for yourself. It is your destination to be able to feel whole and complete, entirely on your own. That is the most important condition for a truly fulfilling relationship.