[jimrich]

Originally Posted by Lorelyen

So I see us as playing roles much of the time.

There is a branch of psychology that studies and works with our sub-personalities such as: the Critic, the Pusher, the Inner Child, the Parent, the Boss, the Hero, the Devil, the Play Boy, the Beach Bum, the Tramp, etc. which are all aspects or dimensions of our ego(s) as revealed in the work of Hal and Sidra Stone. You might like there teachings at: www.voicedialogueinternational.com/

Therefore I conclude that ego is a social process. We adjust it as we go, learning, adapting, diverting. At times people transact with awkwardness or misgivings, going against their intuition etc, so deliberately distorting the connections with Self.

The Stones can explain how our rarely noticed nor understood sub-personalities produce much of our behavior.

So ego isn't a fixed thing. But there has to be a bedrock on which this can happen: a very real self, close to the soul.

Yes, we are an interesting collection of subs or selves and the "bedrock" self is called the Aware Ego which can be related to the Source, the Absolute, God, Reality, and/or a lot of other esoteric/divine titles to separate the Real self from all of our sub-personalities which is why most folks just refer to one ego in relationship to one real self.

It's what we would be if we could find it.

The real us is very easy to find if and when a person can look past of around their ego(s) or subs. We are quite often in our real self but don't notice it - hence the term Aware Ego, meaning a me that is aware that I am not IN the ego at any given moment. We unconsciously go in and out of our sub-personalities all day (and night) long but rarely ever notice the shifts. Have you ever wondered what "came over you" when something bad happened out on the road and you "lost it"? That was an angry sub-personality briefly taking you over. Most folks simply do not notice their subs at work or play inside of us.

I see our fronts not as disconnected from the "real self" but an extension of it going through processes that connect us with the mundane world.

The Stones also describe the sub-personalities as middle men between the real self (Aware Ego) and our environment. So the Boss self performs a certain function while the Beach Bum self performs another and the Hero keeps us safe while the Devil lets us have a little "fun". The Stones make the point that ALL of our selves or subs matter and serve a useful purpose in our lives BUT we need the Aware Ego to be in charge and run things since many of our 'subs' can often get us into trouble.

Awareness of this processing gives us more power and scope over how we interact because we can adjust our roles to our advantage (not in a selfish way as much as to make transactions simpler, more appropriate for our (spiritual) needs and less vulnerable to the vagaries of emotions).

You are saying the same as the Stones about letting our highest part(s) run things!

Generally I don't hold with the Freudian model of psyche. It was revolutionary in its time but needs revisiting. His model is still useful for situations where compartmentalising mental processes is enough but once we move into the realms of assimilating experiences, creativity etc, it fails.

An interesting discussion. ...

Re: assimilating.........the Stone's teachings about the Selves is all about EMBRACING or assimilating our various Selves under the loving and accepting umbrella of the Aware Ego or Highest Self so we become a happy family rather than a herd of struggling and fighting sub-personalities all struggling for power and attention. In their work, the Stones investigate how to talk with our various Subs to see what they want, need and how to embrace or incorporate them into our lives AS FRIENDS and not strangers or enemies. The Stone's perspective on the ego or subs is revolutionary, IMO, and I have used much of their teachings to EMBRACE many of my own troubled and troublesome sub-personalities or ego(s).
It seems that you are on the same track as the Stones with regards to accepting your self or selves.
I'm impressed!