I totally relate to this. Even in my darkest years I always knew to look for the signs, and as I looked for them I saw very, very many. So when there were long stretches of time when it felt like every raw essence of energy and extrinsic spirited indication had abandoned me, it was a strange and deeply affecting feeling. But now that I'm a much healthier bodied and minded person, I am able to take the down times with much more humility without my ego clouding my judgment and telling me I was being 'lazy' and 'not doing enough'. I found that periods like these are meant for profound personal nourishment and reflection.
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