I have updated my thinking on this subject. I now see that by having any kind of dual relationship status; a simplistic 'mine and yours' concept, that one half of that duality will always be subordinated (It is not equal). It seems that in general Pagan spirituality, the god is subordinate to the goddess, or appears to be given a lesser role. In Christianity it was the reverse.

Part of the confusion orbits around my firm belief that the male identity must find itself in the female, and is essentially not distinct from the female. This makes it appear that one is subordinating the god, either consciously or subconsciously. But the truth is that, what I am saying at least, is that the divine feminine is in essence genderless; it is simply spacious and open like the womb, and contains all of life. The masculine is never in opposition to the feminine; it is absorbed in it, it is swimming in it. Furthermore, the masculine literally is the feminine, and vice versa.. because there is no ultimate heirarchy if the feminine transgresses gender opposites. Now, the other confusing bit. I make a distinction between man-woman, and feminine-masculine. The former is more biological, and the latter is broader and more psychological. I believe that both men and women need to find the divine feminine in themselves to be a complete identity, because the feminine is 'otherness'. Women are not necessarily in touch with that, because they are a woman. Consequently, some men are more in touch with their feminine side than women! But even as I say 'feminine', ultimately, I mean a totally free entity that consciously accepts the ALL.

Personally I think that a distinct god and goddess relationship, where each identity is static (i.e. god = this, goddess = that) will always in some form be unequal.