[loopylucid]

Hey ash, Ive no idea is this is going to mean anything for you, but have you tried finding a way to just stop for a bit now? Not stopping the awakening or whichever term is preferable, but stopping the seeking? Stopping the searching? Have you considered maybe giving up the need to know its outcomes, patiently being aware and seeing what unfolds, just for a while? Maybe its not time to seek more answers and advice, but to process and intergrate whats already there, and for now, deal with that. it sounds like a big influx for you, might be time to give yourself a little break, whilst it balances, Maybe now is a time to rest a while, allow a deeper awareness to come through and maybe in that, will come the knowing, in some beautiful wonderful ways :)
I know with myself, my mind cannot sometimes comprehend whats going on spiritually, and its only when I try and make it, I get myself all tied up in knots!
Anyway just an idea, I know its not easy to stop mind chatter, I also write music and its a very good way, to help the mind quieten and focus, a little respite, so maybe go headlong into that for a little while and then see how all those questions look after a little retreat, just some thoughts :)
I wish you much love on your journey, always.
Loopy