[LadyMay]

Right now I am raging at my brother. Why? Because he is disrespectful and in possession of narcissistic traits. Why is this? Because his dad was abusive. Most the time I am sympathetic to my brother even though he treats us all like Edit by Staff. I am patient.. I see the clouded light of his soul. But sometimes, just sometimes, I tip over to boiling point. Like right now. I feel like I really must have done something so awful in a past life to deserve sixteen years of abuse from his dad and then from him later on. I wish I didn't have to share a house with him, yet I know I that I ultimately incarnated with these people for my own spiritual growth.. it just seems all so unfair sometimes. Even though somewhere down the line it was probably my own choice. I feel so powerless. All my life. I just have all the emotions coming back to me from before when his dad was here. I just feel so angry and sad.. I try so hard to work on my spiritual growth and then there's him who breaches every boundary I've worked so hard to build up again. Am I seeing a reflection of myself in him? I don't know. The only negative traits in me from this life were put there by his dad in the first place. Hence why I must've been such an awful person in a past life. I feel like I'm making up for it all now.

Most the time I just ignore him because it's the only thing I can do, but sometimes I just get so irritated.. back before my awakening I would barge into his room and scream and throw things around but.. it never made much difference. Now I have more control over my emotions I haven't done that in a while but I so wish I could sometimes. But I know it'll lead me nowhere. I just have to rage it all out by myself and wait till he's out the house or something to feel better. I find it so hard to be around him.. I'm so empathic these days and I just pick up on energy like a magnet, and his energy is so harsh and abrasive.. it's just hard to be around. And I wish I didn't have to be around it at all but I do so.

Slight rant there. How do you all feel about or deal with untowards family?